


Criminal Minds Alphabet Challenge

by lifeaftercheckmate



Series: Criminal Minds Alphabet Challenge [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Nightmares, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:36:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeaftercheckmate/pseuds/lifeaftercheckmate
Summary: Hotch finally confronts his feelings for Reid with a push from JJ. Fluff and smut ensue. vulnerable!HotchEstablished JJ/PrentissCanon divergence: Haley left Hotch, but is not dead. There is no Foyet or Jack. Reid is not an addict.





	1. A is For Action

**Author's Note:**

> I've been gone for a long, long while. I decided to get back into it with an alphabet challenge. Buckle up for fluff!
> 
> I do not own Criminal Minds. If I did, the show would go very differently.
> 
> Please leave comments! I want to know if you guys like it and if you have any requests for the story line. I will be doing one chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch confronts his feelings for Reid with a push from JJ.

Aaron Hotchner was coming undone. He didn't come out of his office if he didn't need to. He didn't speak to Reid unless it was necessary. He avoided eye contact with Reid if at all possible. Hotch was stern on his good days. Lately he become downright standoffish. Reid noticed and his brilliant mind ran through hundreds of scenarios of what he could have done to warrant such coldness from his boss. The team noticed, too, JJ in particular. She saw Hotch's behavior and she saw how much it was affecting Reid. She went from concerned to frustrated to upset. After a month of this behavior, she decided to say something.

JJ knocked on Hotch's office door.

“Come in,” Hotch said from inside. JJ opened the door, stepped inside, and closed it behind her. Hotch was at his desk, paper work was spread in front of him from their last case, and a pile of folders containing potential cases sat to the side.

“Can we talk?” she asked.

“Sure. Have a seat.” JJ sat down in the black leather seat on the opposite side of the desk.

“Is everything alright?” Hotch asked, setting down his pen and affixing her with a a look of reserved concern.

“That's what I'm here to find out,” JJ said cautiously.

“I don't understand.” JJ gathered her thoughts. Hotch was, of course, her boss and she didn't want to cross the line, but at the same time she cared for Reid and hated seeing him suffer.

“May I speak freely?” JJ asked. Hotch furrowed his brow.

“Of course.” JJ chose her words carefully.

“Something happened while we were in Miami. You haven't been the same since we got back. You're avoiding Spencer and the whole team has noticed.” Hotch was silent for a full minute. Miami. Reid. There had been a moment with a cup of coffee. Just a moment, but that was all it took for Hotch to reach critical mass. The way their hands had brushed over each other as Hotch handed a cup of sugar and coffee to Reid. Reid was exhausted. They all were, but Reid especially. He hadn't slept in over 24 hours. It was just a small gesture, but for a moment Reid's hand overlayed his and Reid had looked up with the sweetest smile of gratitude. Hotch's chest jerked and he had a vision of Reid sharing that smile with him in a morning after embrace. Hotch's breath caught and a question flickered over Reid's face. Aaron regained his composure in a second and turned sharply away without a word. He'd been attracted to Reid for a long time, but the feelings had grown to large to control. He was haunted by desire. It kept him up at night. It informed every word he said and every move he made. He was at his breaking point and there was nothing to be done.

“JJ...” Hotch sighed. There was nothing he could say, no explanation he could give.

“You have to see how you're affecting Spencer.” Hotch knew and it pained him. He still had no response to offer. He rubbed a hand over his face.

“It's complicated,” was all he could manage.

“Try me.” JJ met his eyes firmly and crossed her arms over her chest. Hotch clenched his teeth. He was getting a headache. Hotch and JJ looked at each other in silence.

“Fine,” Hotch said. The levy broke. “Fine,” he repeated. He ran a hand through his hair, leaned back in his chair, and looked up the ceiling.

“Reid...” There was no way to skirt around the confession. He took a deep breath. “I'm in love with him.” JJ's eyebrows shot up.

“Is that all?” she asked. Hotch sat up and looked at her.

“Look, it's not the same as you and Emily. Reid is much younger than I am and I am his boss.” JJ pressed her lips together as her protective instinct took over her common sense.

“So you're just going to sit in here and be miserable and let him suffer because you don't have the courage to tell him how you feel?” Hotch scowled at her.

“You're pushing it,” he said. JJ lifted her chin defiantly, no longer concerned about crossing lines.

“You should tell him.”

“I can't.” JJ sighed and uncrossed her arms.

“Hotch, you're a profiler. Have you really never noticed the way he looks at you? Reid adores you.” Hotch shook his head.

“Not like that.”

“Yes. Like that.” Hotch raised an eyebrow.

“You really think so?”

“I do. Seriously, Hotch. You should tell him.” Hotch leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling again. He had thought so many times of doing just that. He had planned out his words and rearranged them over and over. He had planned out their first date, imagined their first kiss, dreamed up their first night together. Could he? Could he really have a chance with Reid? Could Reid really reciprocate his feelings? Hotch's heart raced. He looked back at JJ.

“And if you're wrong?”

.

“I'm not,” JJ said Hotch was quiet. His brain was in overdrive.

“Hotch, you can't keep on like this.

“You're right.” Hotch let out a deep breath. “I can't. OK. I'll...I'll give it a shot.” JJ smiled.

“Sooner, rather than later,” she insisted. Hotch nodded.

“Yes.” JJ stood to leave.

“JJ?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” JJ smiled at him and left the office, closing the door behind her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	2. B is For Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch confesses his feelings for Reid.

Now that it came down it, nothing that Hotch had thought up seemed sufficient. If he was going to make his move, if had to be just right. If things went wrong...he just couldn't bare to think of it.

Hotch gave everyone permission to go home early. There was nothing to do but lingering paperwork and that could be finished up tomorrow. He watched Reid gather his things and tuck them into his messenger bag. His heart was racing. He was really going to do this. He bolstered his courage and walked down into the bullpen.

“Reid,” Hotch said, touching him lightly on the arm to get his attention. Reid jumped. He hadn't heard Hotch come up behind him.

“Sorry,” Hotch said. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Reid shifted nervously.

“Uh, yeah sure. Did I do something wrong?” Reid asked. Hotch's brown eye gazed into Reid's hazel eyes and Hotch's chest clenched. Reid was so uncomfortable, so worried and Hotch was the one who had done this to him. All Hotch's words and fancy planning flooded out of his mind.

“No,” Hotch said softly. “You haven't done anything wrong. It was me. Can we sit?”

“Sure,” Reid said, still uncomfortable and now confused. He sat back down at his desk and Hotch pulled up a chair.

“I owe you an apology,” Hotch said. He struggled to put the images and feelings racing through his head into words. Aaron Hotchner, strong, stoic, and unshakable, was now a bundle of nerves. He clasped his hands in his lap so that Reid wouldn't see them shake, but he was too late.

“What is it?” Reid asked. His brow was furrowed in concern. Hotch took a deep breath.

“This last month has been... Well, I've felt like I'm being crushed constantly.” Hotch swallowed hard. “Being around you has been difficult for me. I can't stop thinking about you and it scares me,” he confessed. Realization dawned in Reid's eyes. Hotch pushed forward. Now that he started, the words just tumbled out.

“I've been unfair to you, rude, cold. It's not anything you did. I'm so sorry. I have these feelings for you and it terrifies me. I didn't know what to do or say. I felt guilty for wanting you, so I internalized it. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel pressured in anyway, but please let me make it up to you. Come to my house for dinner tonight. I'll cook.” Reid smiled.

“I'd like that very much.” Hotch's heart skipped a beat.

“You would?” he asked.

“I would love nothing more,” Reid said. He was giving Hotch the same soft smile that he had given him in Miami, the one that made Hotch's heart flip. Hotch sank back in his chair, relief flooding him. He couldn't believe Reid actually said yes.

“I'm so sorry,” he said again.

“Consider yourself forgiven.”

“Why don't you meet me there at 7 o' clock?”

“That sounds perfect,” Reid said. Hotch stood and put his chair back.

“I'll see you then, he said.

\-------------------------

Reid had no idea what to wear. He flipped through his closet and rummaged through his drawers. Several shirts lay crumbled and discarded on his bed. He finally settled on a plum button down and a charcoal sweater vest, and then took off the sweater vest and tossed it on the bed. He wanted to avoid looking like a teacher's assistant if at all possible. He slipped on a nice pair of jeans and went in search of his shoes. He found them, put them on, and then sat down on his couch to wait until it was time to leave. He picked up the book he had been reading and tried to focus on it. He put it down after reading the same sentence three times and still not knowing what it said.

Hotch's confession was the last thing Reid had expected when he asked to talk to him tonight. He'd thought for the last month that he had done something to upset his boss and had racked his brain trying to figure out what that might be. He figured that he was finally being called to the carpet. The revelation that Hotch had feelings for him left the genius near wordless. He had admired his boss for as long as he'd known him, but that feeling of admiration had softened into affection, and then strengthened into infatuation, and sometimes strayed into downright lust. He'd kept his feelings to himself. Hotch was 10 years is senior, and, after all, his boss. And until about an hour and a half ago, Reid had thought Hotch was straight. The team was aware that Reid was interested in both men and women, but even as a profiler, Reid never would have thought that Hotch was as well.

Reid was giddy on the drive over. He couldn't control his smile. He tried to settle the swarm of butterflies in his stomach with no success. He pulled into Hotch's driveway and knocked on the door at exactly 7 o' clock. Hotch opened the door and his face lit up when he saw Reid.

“You look amazing,” he said. Reid smiled.

“You don't look so bad yourself,” he replied.

“I was half afraid you would change your mind,” Hotch said as he opened the door and motioned Reid aside.

“Not in a million years. It smells amazing in here. What are you cooking?” Reid asked, following Hotch into the kitchen.

“It's a chicken carbanra dish that Rossi gave me the recipe for a while back. It's almost done.” Reid leaned back against the counter and watched Hotch flit about the kitchen, stirring a pot on the stove, adding spices, getting dishes from the cupboard.

“Can I get you a drink?” Hotch asked.

“Sure. What do you have?”

“I suggest pinot grigio with this dish. I have a bottle in the refrigerator.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Reid asked playfully. Hotch laughed.

“Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.”

“I'll trust the cook,” Reid said.

“Pinot grigio it is,” Hotch said and poured them each a glass. Reid took a sip and hum appreciatively.

“I've never had pinot grigio before. This is good,” Reid said.

“I'm glad you like it.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Well the food's done. I'm about to dish it up. If you would, grab silverware from the drawer behind you and put it on the table. Forks and knives. And napkins over there.” Spencer grabbed the things Hotch pointed out and Hotch followed him out to the dining room with plates of steaming pasta and chicken. They set the table and settled into eat.

The dinner was awkward and cautious as most first dates are. Eager tension hung in the air. They joked and laughed and chatted easily, each one trying to feel the other out.

“Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451, was a descendant of one of the Salem witches," Reid was saying. "Bradbury was descended from Mary Perkins Bradbury, who was sentenced to be hanged in 1692 but managed to escape before her execution could take place." Hotch pushed his empty plate away from him.

“Who's your favorite author?” Hotch asked.

“Thomas Merton,” Reid said. “He was an American Catholic writer, theologian and mystic and a Trappist monk of the Abbey of Gethsemani, Kentucky. He was also a poet, social activist, and student of comparative religion. I could lend you a book if you want,” he ventured. Hotch smiled.

“I'd like that. It'll take me a little longer than you to read it, though.” Reid chuckled.

“That's fine. You can keep it as long as you want.” Hotch finished off the last of his wine.

“Would you like some more?” he asked motioning to Reid's empty glass.

“Now I know you're trying to get me drunk,” Reid said as he handed his glass to Hotch.

“Not if you don't want to,” Hotch said.

“I never said that,” Reid said with a smirk. Hotch smiled and went to the kitchen to refill their glasses.

“I have something for you he said when he came back into the dining room. He handed Reid's glass to him and Reid took a sip and Hotch set his down.

“I'll be right back,” Hotch said. He went to the hall closet and reached for a package wrapped in silver paper that was on the top shelf. He returned to the table and handed it to Reid. Reid ran his slender fingers over the top of the package.

“A book?” he asked, a smile playing over his face.

“I guess you'll just have to open it and find out.” Reid undid the wrapping paper carefully and let it slip away.

“Hotch!” Reid breathed.

“I think Aaron is a little more appropriate at this point," Hotch said. Reid looked up and smiled then ran his thumb across the cover of the book in his hands. It was the Odyssey by Homer.

"It's a first edition."

“This must have costed a fortune.”

“Don't you worry about how much it cost. I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but I couldn't resist.” Reid raised an eyebrow.

“I can't wait to see what you get me for my birthday.” Hotch laughed.

“You like it?” he asked.

“I love it.” Reid brought the book to his face and inhaled, letting his eyes fall shut.

“I loved the way old books smell. Thank you. It was very thoughtful.” Hotch took a sip of his wine and leaned back in his chair. He watched Reid thumb through the pages of the book with a gleeful smile on his face.

“A first edition...” Reid murmured to himself. “Have you ever read it?” he asked Hotch.

“No I haven't, but I heard you tell JJ that it was your favorite once.”

“I could read it to you...” Reid said hesitantly.

“I would like that.” Hotch knocked back the rest of his pinot grigio.

“Let me take these plates to the kitchen and we can go into the living room,” he said,

“I'll help,” Reid said, standing. Hotch gathered his and Reid's plates.

“If you could grab the glasses, that'd be great.” Reid finished off his wine and took his and Hotch's glasses into the kitchen.

“I'll do the dishes later,” Hotch said. “Just set the glasses on the counter.” Reid was a little buzzed, just enough to feel tingly and happy, though it wasn't just from the wine.

“I've enjoyed this evening,” Hotch said. “I've thought about this for so long but never would I have thought that you would be standing here with me like this.” Hotch reached out and took Reid's hand with his heart pounding in his chest.

“Your eyes are dialated and you cheeks are flushed,” Reid observed. He took a step forward and pressed his hand against Hotch's chest.

“Your heart is racing,” Reid said. “Tell me, what else have you thought of?” Hotch tucked a piece of Reid's hair behind his ear then put his hands on Reid's hips and pulled him flush against his chest. Reid circled Hotch's neck with his arms.

“You know what I want more than anything right now?” Hotch whispered.

“What that?” Reid asked.

“I want to kiss you.”

“What's stopping you?”

“I just want to make sure you're ok with all this.”

“Aaron, I've been thinking of this probably as long as you have. Apparently I'm better at dealing with repressed emotions than you are, though.”

“I know. I'm sorry,” Hotch said.

“It turned out alright, don't you think?”

“The reality is definitely better than the fantasy.”

“So shut up and kiss me.” Hotch did as he was told. He leaned down and pushed his lips against Reid's. Electricity jolted through him and he let out a low hum. Reid's lips were soft and he smelled so good. He snaked one hand up into Reid's hair and pushed them even closer together. Hotch was overwhelmed with sensation. He urged Reid's lips open and tasted him. He tasted sweet like the wine that had been drinking. Hotch bit Reid's bottom lip gently and Reid's knees buckled.

“Whoa, whoa.” Hotch said. He wrapped his arms around Reid's waist to steady him.

“Wow,” Reid said and laid his head on Hotch's chest. Hotch kissed the top of his head and held him, just enjoying being in the moment with Reid in his arms. This was way better than anything he had dreamed.

“Want to take this to the living room?” Hotch murmured in Reid's ear. Reid hummed his assent. They untangled themselves from each other and Hotch took Reid's hand and led him to the couch. Reid grabbed his new book on the way past the table. Hotch settled himself in the corner of the couch with one leg along the back and one on the floor. He patted the cushion in between his legs and Reid sat with his back against Hotch's chest. Hotch wrapped his arms around Reid as he snuggled in and placed a kiss on Reid's temple. Reid let out a sound akin to a giggle.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Whenever you are,” Hotch said.

“Sing to me of the man, Muse, the man of twists and turns,” Reid started, “driven time and again off course, once he had plundered the hallowed heights of Troy.” Hotch soon got lost in the rhythm of the text and Reid's smooth voice.

“Many cities of men he saw and learned their minds, many pains he suffered, heartsick on the open sea, fighting to save his life and bring his comrades home. But he could not save them from disaster, hard as he strove— the recklessness of their own ways destroyed them all, the blind fools, they devoured the cattle of the Sun and the Sungod blotted out the day of their return.” One moment Hotch was listening to Reid read to him, the next he was sound asleep. Reid fell asleep as well, book laid on his lap, wrapped in Hotch's warmth.

Reid shifted in his sleep and woke Hotch up. His arm was asleep and his back was cramped.

“Reid,” he whispered. Reid didn't move. Hotch gently shook his arm.

“Reid,” he whispered again. Reid's eyes opened slowly.

“Mmmm?” Hotch looked at the clock on the wall.

“It's 2:30. We fell asleep.” Reid still didn't move.

“Okay,” he said groggily.

“You're in no shape to drive home,” Hotch said.

“That is an accurate statement,” Reid said.

“You can sleep here if you want. I don't want you falling asleep at the wheel.”

“Right. Bad.” Hotch smiled. Reid's sleep-impared thinking was amusing and endearing.

“Yes, bad. You can sleep on the couch if you want...or you could sleep with me, just sleep. I promise.”

“That sounds nice,” Reid said. His eyes fell shut again. Hotch shook his arm.

“Mmmm?”

“Spencer, you have to get up.”

“Right.” Reid struggled to his feet and reached his hand out to help Hotch up. Hotch playfully slapped his hand away.

“Thanks, but you can hardly stand up yourself. Do you need something to sleep in?” Hotch asked as Reid stumbled in the bedroom behind him.

“Nuh uh. I'm fine.” He stripped down to his boxers and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing both on the floor.

“Um...” Hotch stood staring. Reid chuckled through his haze and sat on the side of the bed.

“I have to change,” Hotch said. Reid swiveled so that his back was to Hotch.

“I promise not to peek.” Hotch changed into pajama pants and pulled the covers back on the bed. He plugged in his cell phone on the charger next to his bed.

“What time do you need to get up to get back to your house before work?” Hotch asked.

“Mmmm...maybe 5? I wake up slowly.”

“I see that,” Hotch said. He set the alarm and slipped under the comforter.

“Slide in,” he said to Reid.

Reid lay on his side facing Hotch and Hotch pulled him to his chest, reveling in the feeling of his bare skin touching Reid's.

“Is this ok?” Hotch asked.

“Perfect,” Reid mumbled. Hotch kissed Reid on the forehead.

“Good night, Spencer.” Reid was already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	3. C is for Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: The case the team works on in this chapter deals with sexual assault against minors. No details on said assaults are given.

Aaron Hotchner trusted almost no one outside of his family, with the exception of his team. The team he could, and did, trust with his life on a regular basis. Trusting one of them with his heart, however, was different matter. He was in love with Reid, he had no doubt about that. He didn't know how deep Reid's feelings went, however. Hotch had intended to take things slow, but here Reid was, almost naked, in his bed. Reid had slept right through Hotch's alarm and Hotch hadn't woken him up, yet. He ran his fingers through Reid's hair and trailed his fingers down Reid's cheek. The clock read 5:15.

“Reid,” he whispered, shaking his arm gently. Reid's eyes fluttered open. For a second he was confused, then a smile spread across his face.

“Good morning,” Reid said, his voice thick with sleep.

“Good morning. How'd you sleep?”

“Wonderful. Warm.” Reid scooted closer and Hotch put his arm around his waist.

“Good.” Hotch ran his thumb over Reid's lips and smiled.

“I'd like to kiss you,” he said.

“You don't need permission,” Reid said.

“I'm not good at this. There have been a few since Hailey, but none of them ever ended up in my bed.”

“Well, I'm telling you, you don't need permission.”

“I'll keep that in mind.” Hotch leaned forward and kissed Reid tenderly. He felt the words I love you, but he pushed them down. Now was not the time. Reid could feel it in this kiss, though and his heart swelled as he kissed Hotch back.

“I could get used to this,” Reid said when they broke apart. “It definitely makes waking up easier.” Hotch kissed Reid on the forehead.

“I think I prefer it this way, as well.” Reid groaned and rolled over.

“I have to get up,” he said. “Or we could just stay here all day.”

“It would be a little suspicious if we both called in sick this morning,” Hotch said.

“Yeah, Emily and JJ ruined that for us.” Hotch chuckled.

“Maybe just one more minute,” he said. “And then I'll make coffee.”

“One more minute sounds good.” Reid scooted over so that Hotch was holding him from behind. Hotch ran his fingers up and down Reid's bare arm and Reid shivered.

“Cold?” Hotch asked.

“No,” Reid said. “Just sensitive.” Hotch closed his eyes and inhaled Reid's scent. He wanted to take him right here and right now. He had to do this right, though. He didn't want to rush it. He didn't want to push. Holding Reid was completely sufficient...for now. He couldn't resist placing a kiss on the back of Reid's neck, though. Reid hummed in appreciation.

“We have to go to work,” he said in a bit of a whine. “And I have to go home first.”

“Coffee?,” Hotch asked.

“Coffee,” Reid said. Hotch kissed Reid one last time, then pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed.

“Meet me down in the kitchen.” Reid rolled over onto his back and groaned. He didn't want to get up, but he did. He pulled his clothes back on and plodded down to the kitchen. The smell of coffee rose to meet him. Hotch handed him a steaming cup when he walked in.

“Lots of sugar?” Reid asked.

“Of course,” Hotch said. “I have met you before. Do you want some breakfast?”

“I want to, but I really need to get home. I need a shower.” Hotch nodded and Reid sipped his coffee.

“Rain check?” Reid asked.

“You want to do this again, then?”

“Well I think the first date went pretty well, don't you?”

“I do,” Hotch said with a smile. “Can I take you out to dinner tonight?”

“That sounds fantastic.” Reid downed the rest of his coffee.

“I really do have to go.” Hotch took Reid's hand and pulled him close. He kissed him chastely on the lips.

“I'll see you in a little bit,” Hotch said.

\--------------------

Hotch arrived at the office a full hour before Reid with no one the wiser. Well, no one but JJ. Hotch's office door was open and she stuck her head inside.

“You look in better spirits,” she said. Hotch looked up and smiled.

“JJ, come in.” JJ walked into the office and sunk down in the black leather chair.

“Did you have a good evening?” JJ asked cheekily.

“I did. Thank you for pushing me.” JJ smiled and shrugged.

“We're family. We look out for each other. Just...please be careful. Reid is special. I don't have to tell you that, I know. Just...be careful with him.”

“I will. I promise you that.” JJ nodded.

“I know you will,” she said. “I'll get out of your hair.” JJ walked out of the office, leaving Hotch to his paperwork and his thoughts.

Reid was at his desk looking disheveled and smiling. Morgan swatted him on the arm.

“What's up with you today, kid?” Morgan asked. Reid looked innocently up at him.

“I don't know what you mean,” he said.

“Oh come on, pretty boy. 'Fess up. You got some last night, didn't you, you old dog.” Reid flushed and turned to his desk, memories of waking up in Hotch's bed running through his mind.

“No, I did not, for your information.”

“I don't believe you for a minute,” Morgan said.

“I really didn't,” Reid squeaked, but now the image was in his head and he blushed harder. He looked guilty as fuck.

“Oh come on. There's no shame. Spill,” Morgan teased.

“No, Morgan seriously --” Reid was interrupted from his defense by Hotch walking out of his office, professional scowl firmly in place.

“Guys, we've got a case,” Hotch said. Reid, Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, and Rossi filed into the conference room behind Hotch and Garcia skittered in behind them.

“Ok, buckle up, guys 'cause this one's a doozy. There's been a rash of stabbings in Corryton, Tennessee.” Garcia pushed a button on her remote and an four pictures came up on the screen.

“All four dead guys were registered sex offenders in Corryton, each found a week apart in their homes. Each had rohypnol in their system.”

“So we're looking for a vigilante killer,” Rossi said.

“It would appear that way,” Hotch said.

“The presence of rohypnol suggests that the killer wasn't large enough or powerful enough the take the victims by force,” Reid said.

“There are some differences between the first killing and the rest. The last three had around 10 stab wounds each. The first had 32, some of them post motrtum.”

“That's a whole lot of rage,” Morgan said. “What makes the first one different?”

“We don't know that yet, but I can tell you that each of these guys had offenses against minors.”

“Makes it had to want to catch this guy,” Reid said.

“Murder is murder whatever the motive is,” Hotch said. “We have due process for a reason. Wheels up in thirty.”

\-------------------------

After some digging, it became clear who the prime suspect was. The first victim had assaulted only one person, a young girl by the name of Samantha. She had spent the next decade in and out of the psych wards and rehabs. Records showed that she had cleaned up from drugs, but hadn't been able to stabilize her mental health. She had been involuntarily committed for violent delusions and homicidal ideation for six months. She'd been released a week before the killings started. Her family hadn't seen or heard from her since her latest release and had filed a missing person's report.

Catching her, however, was another story. She was disorganized and frenzied, but still managed to slip through their fingers. Another three bodies turned up before they managed to catch her in the act. The seventh victim laid dead at her feet and she had the knife in her hand when the team burst into the home.

“Samantha Harper, FBI! Drop the weapon,” Hotch yelled.

“There's no way I'm walking out of here with you!” she screamed. “You're not putting me back in a cage! These bastards got what they deserved! You should be thanking me!”

“Samantha, drop the knife and we can talk. We know about Jerry. We know what he did to you.”

“No! You can't know! You could never know what he did to me! You may have read the police reports, my medical reports, but you will never know what it's like to have your whole world shattered by a man like him.”

“Samantha,” Morgan said, stepping forward. “Look, I'm putting my gun away.” He slowly holstered his gun and raised his hands.

“I know what it's like. I was sexually abused when I was a kid, too, and I used that pain. I've built a life on catching bad guys that hurt people. I know what it's like.”

“Well we can't all pick up the pieces like you,” Samantha said. “He BROKE me!”

“Come on, Samantha, put the knife down,” Morgan urged gently.

“I will never live in a cage again!” With a scream, she lunged at Morgan and Hotch pulled his trigger. Samantha Harper was dead before she hit the floor. Reid lowered his gun and stared at the young woman on the floor in front of him as the CSIs came pouring in.

“Reid,” Hotch said gently. Reid didn't move.

“Spencer.” Reid blinked and looked up.

“Are you okay?” Hotch asked. Reid shook his head.

“I don't know,” he said and put his gun back in his holster. Hotch put his hand on Reid's elbow and gently steered him away from the crime scene.

“She deserved better,” Reid said.

“I know,” Hotch said.

“Some part of me wonders if she wasn't right.”

“It's a hard line to draw, but we have to draw it and we have to stay on our side of the line.”

“I know,” Reid said. “I'm not sorry that they're gone, though.”

“Neither am I,” Hotch said.

The team helped wrap up the case with Corryton PD and flew back that afternoon. Hotch sat across Reid on the jet.

“I believe I owe you dinner,” Hotch said quietly.

“I believe you're right. I don't want to go out, though. This last one...” Reid trailed off.

“There's no happy ending in a case like this,” Hotch said.

“I know.” Reid shook his head. “I just can't get her eyes out of my head, right before she lunged at Morgan.”

“Why don't we get take out and go back to my place. You can read some more of The Odyssey to me, get your mind off of things.” Reid smiled up at him.

“That sounds nice.”

Morgan watched Hotch and Reid's interaction.

“It seems like those two have gotten over whatever was going on,” he said to Rossi. “I wonder what that was all about?”

“I have a sneaking suspicion,” Rossi said. “Hotch doesn't handle feelings well.” Morgan raised an eyebrow.

“Hotch and Reid?” he asked.

“I'd put money on it,” Rossi said. Morgan smiled.

“Boss or not, if he breaks Reid's heart, I'll make him pay.”

“Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that,” Rossi said. “Look at them.” Reid was rambling on about who knows what, hands waving in the air, eyes wide. Hotch was leaning forward and hanging on to every word that fell out of his mouth. And he was smiling.

“It doesn't take a profiler to read Hotch's feelings. He's in love,” Rossi said.

“Well, it's about time,” Morgan said. “Maybe he'll loosen up and relax a bit.” Rossi laughed.

“I wouldn't hold your breath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	4. D is for Dedication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch and Reid take their budding relationship to the next level.

“I can drive,” Hotch said to Reid after they landed. “Do you need to stop at your place?”

“No. I'd like to change out of these clothes, but I have clean clothes in my go bag still and my book is in my messenger bag.” Reid blushed. “I've kept it with me,” he admitted. Hotch smiled.

“Alright. I'll call in an order and we can pick it up on the way back to my place. How does Chinese sound?”

“I'm fine with that. I just want to get out of these clothes and relax.”

“I hear you,” Hotch said. He called in an order of chicken fried rice for him and bourbon chicken for Reid and picked it up on the way home. As soon as they got inside the door, Reid put his bag down and took the bag of food from Hotch and set it on the coffee table. Then he pulled Hotch close.

“You've been right next to me for the last week, but I've still missed you,” Reid said. Hotch smiled at him and brushed the curls out of his face.

“I've missed you too,” Hotch said. Reid leaned in and kissed him. It was slow and sweet and Reid melted into the strong arms that held him.

“I've been wanting to do that since we left,” Hotch said.

“Me too,” Reid said. When they broke away, Reid went to the bathroom and changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and a dark green t-shirt and Hotch changed into jeans and an old FBI marathon t-shirt. They retired to the couch with their food and a couple beers. Hotch was quiet, but Reid could see his mind at work and the far away look in his eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” Reid asked. Hotch took a swig from his beer bottle and then looked Reid in the eyes.

“I think we should talk about this before it goes any further,” he said.

“Ok,” Reid said. He waited for Hotch to go on.

“I'm not good with words like you are,” Hotch said after a moment.

“Just say whatever's on your mind,” Reid urged. Hotch took a deep breath.

“I don't take this lightly, Spencer. I don't trust easily. Strong leader I can do. Open, intimate, vulnerable...that's difficult for me. I'm not in this for a fling and I need to know that we're on the same page. I don't want to push you, and I don't want to rush you, but I need to know where you stand and what you're looking for.” Reid took a bite of his burbon chicken and chewed thoughtfully.

“Well, I've been attracted to you for a long time, years. I never imagined this would be a real life possibility, so I ignored it, but it didn't go away. I don't take this lightly, either. It's a big risk we're taking, I know that. But it feels so easy being with you. I'm not here for a fling. I don't want just one night. I want you. I want to earn your trust. I want you to be able to open up and feel comfortable. I'm in this for the long haul and I hope you are, too. It's not easy for me, either, but being with you just feels right.” Hotch felt his heart swell. That was everything he could have hoped to hear. He put his empty rice container on the coffee table and took Reid's hand, lacing their fingers together. Now it was time.

“The truth is, I've been in love with you since long before Hailey left. I tried to ignore it, too, and you see how well that turned out. Hailey knew and we tried to make it work, but between that and the demands of the job, the relationship just evaporated. I tried dating, but no one really understands this job. They think they know what they're getting into, but it doesn't work. It never went far. I just stuffed it until I couldn't take it anymore. The day I asked you to come over, JJ had confronted me about the way I was acting toward you and convinced me that I had to take a chance on you. She said that your feelings for me where obvious to apparently everyone but me.” Reid blushed. He hadn't known that anyone else had picked up on that.

“I don't expect you to say it back, but I'm in love with you and I'm in it for the long haul, too. I've wanted you for so long.” Reid put his chicken down and took Hotch's other hand.

“You have me,” he said. When they kissed, there was a heat to it. Fire shot through their lips and warmed them. Hotch put his hands on Reid's hips and pulled him close. He slipped his hands under Reid's t-shirt and savored the feeling of his bare skin. Reid shivered and kissed him back hard. His tongue slipped inside Hotch's mouth and tangled with his own. Hotch moaned at the sensation. He kept one hand on the small of Reid's back and ran his other hand through Reid's hair.

“I want you so bad,” Hotch whispered into Reid's ear.

“Take me,” Reid said, his usually light and sweet voice was low and husky and that was all it took for Hotch. He stood and pulled Reid up from the couch and led him to the bedroom. He gently pushed him up against the wall and kissed him hard, running his hands up Reid's sides under his shirt and pulling his shirt off over his head. Hotch tossed the shirt on the floor and started to work on Reid's jeans in between kisses. He pushed the pants down off Reid's slender hips and Reid stepped out of them. Reid pushed Hotch backwards and down onto the bed and straddled his hips.

“God, you're sexy,” Hotch breathed, trailing his fingers down Reid's chest. Reid smiled mischievously and tugged Hotch's shirt up.

“Just you wait,” he said. Hotch half sat up and pulled his shirt off. Reid unbuttoned Hotch's jeans and stood to pull them off and toss them on the floor with the rest of the clothes. Hotch grabbed Reid by the wrist and pulled him on top of him, then flipped over so that Reid was on his back and Hotch was straddling him this time. Hotch attacked Reid's lips and nipped the bottom one a little hard, earning him a deep groan from Reid. He moved to his neck and nipped and licked a line down and across Reid's collar bone. Then he rimmed Reid's nipples with his tongue, first one and then the other, causing Reid to gasp and arch his back. Both men were hard with need and desire. Hotch's breath was ragged and shallow. It had been years since he'd felt this passionately about anyone and he wanted this to be perfect for Reid.

Hotch slipped Reid's boxers off and kneeled on the floor in between his knees, taking Reid in his mouth.

“Oh God!” Reid gasped. He twined his fingers in Hotch's thick, dark hair and tugged him down further. Hotch was only to happy to oblige. He grabbed Reid's hips in his strong hands and took him all the way down his throat, swallowing around him. Reid moaned and muttered incoherently. Hotch slowly raised his head, circling his tongue around Reid's length as he began to move rhythmically.

“Fuck,” Reid breathed. “Oh God, Aaron.” Hearing his name on Reid's lips made Hotch ache. Still he moved, slow, teasing.

“Fuck,” Reid said again. “Please, Aaron, please.” Hearing the genius reduced to single syllable words and obscenities and begging made Aaron come undone. He stood and peeled his boxers off as Reid groaned from the lack of sensation.

“Damn it,” Reid cursed and his long fingers wrapped around his own dick. Hotch chuckled and smacked his hand.

“That's my job,” Hotch said. Reid groaned again, but let go. Hotch grabbed a bottle of lube from his night stand and slicked up his fingers. He set he bottle down and knelt between Reid's knees again. He slid his forefinger slowly inside Reid, and Reid's hips jerked.

“Mmmmmm,” Reid moaned. Hotch started with one finger and worked his way up to two and then three, moving slowly and thoroughly until Reid was begging Hotch to fuck him. Hotch was so hard that it hurt.

“Scoot into the middle,” Hotch said to Reid as he lubed up.

“How do you want me?” Reid asked.

“On your back. I want to look into your eyes as I make love to you.” Reid scooted into the middle of the bed and Hotch positioned himself in between Reid's legs.

“Are you ready?” Hotch asked. Reid nodded vigorously. Hotch slowly entered Reid, watching his face closely. Reid's eyes were closed tight and there was a grimace on his face. Hotch was thick and long and stretched him. It hurt and it felt so good. Hotch waited patiently until Reid grabbed his hand and nodded to him to continue. It took every bit of self control Hotch had to move at a steady pace. He didn't want to hurt Reid, after all, but God he was so tight and felt so good. Hotch lowered himself over Reid kissed him deep and tender. He took Reid's dick in one hand and stroked in time to his thrusts. Reid couldn't stay still or quiet. He bucked and squirmed and moaned Hotch's name and cursed. Hotch built up the pace gradually, milking every moment inside Reid's body until Reid was begging for release. Hotch sped up, slamming into Reid's prostate over and over. Reid's body was on fire. He couldn't think. Nothing existed but Hotch inside him and all around him, covering his body in kisses. Finally, Reid's body went rigid and he let out a yell as he came all over Hotch's hand. The throbbing around Hotch's dick and the look on Reid's face set him off and he fell into his own release. Neither man moved for a long minute and then slowly, Hotch pulled out and grabbed his t-shirt off the floor. Reid was in a stupor and couldn't move, so Hotch wiped him down and then laid next to him, pulling Reid into his chest.

“Mmmmm...” was all that Reid could manage. Hotch chuckled and kissed him on the back of the head.

“Good?” Hotch asked.

“Mmmmhmmm.” Reid rolled over and buried himself in Hotch's embrace. Hotch kissed him on the top of the head.

“That was amazing,” Reid said.

“I couldn't agree more,” Hotch said. They lay there on the bed like that for a while in silence, Hotch's arms wrapped around Reid, Reid nestled in his chest, legs intertwined.

“Are you tired?” Hotch asked after a long while.

“Not a bit,” Reid said. “You?”

“Wide awake. And hungry again. I'm thinking ice cream. Do you want some?”

“What kind?”

“Vanilla bean,” Hotch said.

“Right. Should have guessed.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Hotch asked, pretending to be offended.

“Oh come on, Aaron. Of course you like vanilla.”

“It's not just vanilla. It's vanilla bean,” Hotch said. Reid snorted.

“Are you going to profile my favorite ice cream flavor?” Hotch asked indignantly.

“I don't have to. It speaks for itself.”

“Fine. No ice cream for you.” Reid pulled back and looked at Hotch in mock horror.

“Oh, no! Don't do that,” he said.

“Then be nice,” Hotch admonished. Reid crossed his heart.

“I promise to be nice.” Hotch untangled himself from Reid and walked over to his dresser. He pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms.

“Do you want to stay here again tonight?” Hotch asked. Reid stood up and pulled on his boxers and t-shirt.

“I'd like that if you don't mind.”

“I wouldn't have asked if I did.”

“Then yes. I want to stay with you. At least we don't have to work tomorrow.”

“That'll be nice. No alarms.” Reid followed Hotch to the kitchen. Hotch got out a half gallon of vanilla bean ice cream and two spoons. They sat at the island and ate in silence for a while, each just content to be in the other's company.

“Why don't you get your book and you can read to me in bed.” Reid got the book from his messenger bag while Hotch cleaned up the take up in the living room and then they climbed back in bed. Hotch just couldn't seem to keep his hands off Reid. He wanted to touch him all the time. Reid lay on his stomach, feet in the air, while Hotch played with his hair. Reid found their place in the book and started to read.

“Ready Telemachus took her up at once: “Well, my friend, seeing you want to probe and press the question, once this house was rich, no doubt, beyond reproach when the man you mentioned still lived here, at home. Now the gods have reversed our fortunes with a vengeance— wiped that man from the earth like no one else before. I would never have grieved so much about his death if he’d gone down with comrades off in Troy or died in the arms of loved ones, once he had wound down the long coil of war.” Reid read for about an hour before he started yawning.

“You ready for sleep?” Hotch asked. Reid yawned again.

“I guess that answers my question,” Hotch said.

“Yeah, I'm getting sleepy.”

“Let's turn in for the night.”

“Sounds good.” Reid handed Hotch his book and Hotch set it on the nightstand. Reid pulled off his shirt and settled under the covers.

“I love you, Spencer.” Hotch said as he gathered Reid in his arms. “I hope you don't mind me saying that.”

“Aaron, I am totally dedicated to you. I don't mind. I love to hear it.”

“Good, because I'm going to be telling you for a very long time.”

“I'm going to hold you to that,” Reid said.

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

“Goodnight, Aaron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	5. E is for Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid has a break down and Hotch is there to hold his together. Their relationship blossoms. JJ and Prentiss have big news.

When Hotch woke up, Reid's side of the bed was cold. He could hear noise coming from the bathroom down the hall. Groggily, he rolled out of bed and padded down the hall. As he got closer to the closed bathroom door, he realized that the sound coming from the other side of it was Reid sobbing. He threw open the bathroom door and saw Reid sitting in the middle of the cold tile floor, shaking and rocking. Hotch fell to his knees next to Reid.

“Spencer, what's wrong?” he said as he put a hand on Reid's back. Reid started and jerked away from him.

“Spencer, oh God, Spencer.” Hotch murmured. “Come here.” Reid's brain barely registered who was on the floor next to him as Hotch pulled him into his chest and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. Reid buried his face in Hotch's chest, arms still wrapped around his knees. Sobs wracked his body. He had spun completely out of control. Hotch whispered reassurances in Reid's ear as he held him.

“Shhh. It's ok, Spencer. I've got you. You're safe.” After what seemed like an eternity of emotional torment for Reid, he stopped shaking and quieted down. Hotch continued to hold him tight and gently rocked him back and forth.

“You're safe, Spencer,” he murmured. “I've got you.” Reid let out a deep breath and rubbed the tears from his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“Can you talk?” Hotch asked. Reid nodded.

“What happened?”

“Nightmare,” Reid said. “Panic attack.”

“Why didn't you wake me up?” Hotch asked.

“Didn't want to bother you,” Reid said.

“Spencer, look at me.” Reid kept his face buried in Hotch's chest.

“Spencer,” Hotch said. He pulled back and tilted Reid's head up so that their eyes met.

“You are not a bother to me.”

“You didn't sign up for this,” Reid said and looked away.

“Spencer, look at me,” Hotch said firmly. Reid looked up.

“I want all of you. Do you understand? I signed up for the good and the bad. I want to be here for you. You're not alone anymore and you never will be again.” Quiet tears welled up in Reid eyes and trickled down his cheeks.

“It happens sometimes,” he said. “I just completely lose it.”

“What did you dream about?” Reid took a deep breath.

“Mr. Scratch tortured and killed the entire team. He made me watch.” Hotch pulled Reid back to his chest.

“He's dead. He can never hurt us again.”

“I know,” Reid said. “It was just so real.”

“Promise me you will wake me up or come get me if this happens again,” Hotch said. Reid hesitated and then nodded.

“I'm serious. I'm with you trough thick and thin. I love you. Do you believe me?” Reid nodded again.

“Then trust me.”

“Thank you,” Reid whispered.

“Of course. Let's get you up off this floor,” Hotch said. He stood and helped Reid to his feet.

“Do you want me to make some coffee?” Hotch asked.

“That sounds good,” Reid said. Hotch made coffee and handed a mug loaded with sugar to Reid. Reid sunk down in a chair at the island with his cup.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. Just then Reid's stomach growled.

“Famished,” Reid said.

“I'll make some pancakes.”

“I love pancakes.”

“I know.” Hotch made them a good stack of pancakes, set out the syrup and butter and a mug of black coffee for himself and joined Reid at the island. Reid lavished butter and syrup on his pancakes and dove in. Hotch chuckled. He really was hungry.

“How are you feeling?” Hotch asked when they were finished.

“Much better,” Reid said.

“Good. I have a surprise for you.” Reid perked up.

“What?” he asked.

“There's an exhibition of rare books and writings at the history museum downtown this weekend. I thought we could go check it out.”

“I heard about that!” Reid said, excited. “I would love to go!”

“Go get dressed, then. The exhibition opens in half an hour.” Reid scampered into the bedroom and pulled on his jeans and a clean t-shirt. Hotch rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, got dressed, and they were off to the museum. Once inside, Reid transformed. He was lost in the world of ancient texts. He pulled Hotch from one item to another, rambling off facts and history about each writing.

“Oh my, God, Aaron! Look!” Reid pulled Hotch over to glass case with a redish stone in it. The stone had some scratches of writing on it. Hotch held one hand as Reid gestured excitedly with his other.

“I read about this! This is the oldest readable writing ever found in Europe. It's a clay tablet from Greece. It was found in an olive grove in what's now the village of Iklainia. It was created by a Greek-speaking Mycenaean scribe between 1450 and 1350 B.C.. The Mycenaeans were made legendary in part by Homer's Iliad, which fictionalized their war with Troy and dominated much of Greece from about 1600 B.C. to 1100 B.C.. I can’t believe it’s here!”

For Hotch it was just a stone with some unintelligible writing on it. He had an appreciation for the historical context, but it was nothing like the light that shined on Reid's face. He realized at that moment that he wanted to marry Reid. Sure it would take time to get there, but that was what he wanted without doubt. He wanted to spend the rest of his life making Reid as happy as he was now. He wanted to spend his nights with Reid reading to him and making love and waking up next to him in a tangle of arms and legs. He wanted to listen to Reid’s ramblings and facts. Hotch was in love with Reid's brilliant mind. He wanted to hold Reid when he fell apart and he wanted to stand by him when he was strong. He wanted to grow old with Reid. He wanted him for the rest of their lives.

“Aaron.” Reid's voice brought Hotch's mind back to the museum.

“Hm?”

“I was saying we should read the Iliad next. Come to think of it, we probably should have started with that one.”

“I'm happy to hear whatever you want to read.” Hotch said. “I like it when you read to me.”

“My mom always said that was the best way.”

“Your mom was right.”

 

Over the next couple months, Hotch and Reid became almost inseparable except when work pulled them apart. True to his word, whenever Reid had a nightmare or panic attack, he leaned on Hotch to get him through it. Hotch held him and soothed him until he came out of it. The nightmares and panic attacks began to abate under Hotch's tenderness and care. Reid was not longer fighting his demons alone. Hotch also began to open up and trust Reid with his own inner demons and their relationship grew strong quickly. The team noticed and commented on the changes in them. Hotch smiled more. Reid was relaxed and happy.

One night after they got home from a case that went unusually well, Morgan, Rossi, JJ, Prentiss, Garcia, Hotch, and Reid gathered at a bar for drinks to celebrate. Reid was drunk, mostly because Morgan was entertained by the way alcohol impaired his genius brain and kept buying him drinks. It was a good thing Hotch was driving home. He had one beer and drank soda after that, content to watch his drunk boyfriend have all the fun and be the center of attention. Somehow the talk turned to sleeping habits and uncomfortable hotel rooms. Reid snorted.

“This guy snores and you wouldn't believe how he hogs the covers,” he said jutting his thumb at Hotch. Eyebrows shot up around the table.

“Oh shit,” Reid muttered, looking at Hotch. Hotch chuckled.

“It's fine. We were going to tell them eventually anyway,” Hotch said. Rossi held his hand out to Morgan.

“Pay up,” he said. Morgan grumbled and took a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to Rossi.

“You were taking bets on us?” Reid squeaked.

“Oh come on,” Rossi said. “It was only a matter of time. You two are so obvious.”

“It's about time someone got that man to lighten up and smile every once in a while,” Prentiss said.

“Hey now,” Hotch warned jokingly.

“Seriously, though. You are one of the most uptight men I have ever met. Reid's good for you.” Prentiss was a little drunk herself. JJ elbowed her.

“What? Everyone was thinking it.” Hotch shook his head. He had no retort. Prentiss was right. Reid had become the light in his dark world. Garcia raised her bright pink drink in the air.

“To wonder boy and boss man!” she said. They all clinked glasses and teased the pair good naturedly.

“Emily and I have news, too,” JJ said.

“Oooo,” Garcia crooned. “Do tell.” A big smile covered JJ's face.”

“Emily asked me to marry her and I said yes.”

“Oh yay!” Garcia said and clapped her hands excitedly.

“When is it? What are your colors? Do you have a theme picked out? Let me see your ring.”

“Whoa, baby girl,” Morgan said. “Let her breathe.”

“Don't know, don't know, don't know,” Prentiss said as JJ stuck her hand out for Garcia to examine.

“Emily got one, too,” JJ said.

“Let me see,” Garcia demanded. Emily showed her the ring.

“You guys are awful profilers. How did no one notice?”

“You didn't notice, either,” Morgan said.

“I spend most of my time in my lair behind a computer screen, thank you,” Garcia said.

“I noticed,” Hotch said, “but it wasn't my news to share.”

By the time they all finally called it a night, Reid was starting to sober up a little bit. Hotch had insisted that he switch to water halfway through the night.

“I don't want you puking in my car,” he said. Reid grudgingly agreed.

When they got home, Reid collapsed on the couch.

“I drank too much,” he whined.

“No thanks to Morgan,” Hotch said.

“Mmmm. Remind me to be mad at him tomorrow.” Hotch hung his keys up on the hook by the door and took a single key off the other hook.

“I have something for you,” Hotch said as he sat down on the couch next to Reid. He held the key out to Reid. Reid sat up and squinted at it.

“A key,” Reid said and took it from Hotch.

“You don't have to answer right now, given your state, but I'd like it if you moved in with me. I know it's fast, but I want you with me. Either way, keep the key. You're here as much as I am.”

“Where would we put all my books?” Reid asked. Hotch chuckled. He was expecting that.

“I thought we'd turn the extra room into a library or study for you. You can think about it.”

“I don't need to think about it,” Reid said. “I'd be happy to move in. This feels like home.” Hotch smiled big and laced his fingers between Reid's.

“I love you, Spencer,” he said.

“I love you, too, Aaron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	6. F is for Fetish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team catches another bad guy. Spencer takes Hotch by surprise.
> 
> dominant!Reid and submissive!Hotch for the lovely criminalmindss312and309.
> 
> PS I know the title is a stretch. Deal with it.

The case at hand was unusual. The team had been called in for a string of what appeared to be at first glance as serial suicides. What made the situation a case for the BSU was that all the victims had each left the similar suicide notes and the bodies were staged in public places. Reid stared at the notes pinned to the cork board under a photo of each of the victims. They were all written in each victim's own hand writing. The notes all started with, “There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who think they are sinners and the sinners who think they are righteous. I have fallen from grace.”

 

“The first sentence is a quote from Blaise Pascal,” Reid said. “He was a French Catholic theologian, but most of his writings had to do with the natural and applied sciences of the 17th century. What makes it interesting is that suicide is one of the mortal sins in Catholicism which they believe will lead to the spiritual death of the individual who commits them and will result in eternal damnation if they are unrepentant.”

 

“So the unsub was ensuring that the victims went to hell,” Morgan said.

 

“Perhaps,” Reid said. “If one is to repent from mortal sin to save their soul, he must do it in confession. The victims wouldn't have that opportunity unless the unsub was a priest and heard their confession before their death.” Hotch walked in the room with two cups of coffee, one black and unsweetened and one full of sugar. He handed the sugared coffee to Reid and Reid smiled appreciatively.

 

“We were just discussing how the unsub seems to being coming from a warped perception of Catholicism,” Reid said. “Perhaps he thinks that by forcing the victims to commit suicide he is saving himself from the mortal sin of murder.”

 

“We should look at Catholic churches in the area,” Rossi said. “Interview the priest and see if any of them have hardline views on suicide or if they've noticed any suspicious behavior in their parishioners.”

 

“How many Catholic churches are in the city?” Hotch asked.

 

“I'll call Garcia,” Morgan said. He hit the speed dial button and put his phone on speaker.

 

“You have reached the Goddess of technical information,” Garcia said. “Speak and be heard.”

 

“Hey baby girl. You're on speaker.”

 

“Garcia, how many Catholic churches are there in Middleton?” Hotch asked. They heard tapping on the other end of the line.

 

“There are five within the city,” Garcia said.

 

“How many of them are Orthodox?” Rossi asked.

 

“Two. Saint Louis Catholic Church and Sacred Heart of Mary Church.”

 

“Garcia, look and see if any of the victims were Catholic or attended either of those churches.” Prentiss said.

 

“Will do. I'll hit you back. Garcia out.”

 

“JJ and Prentiss, you take Saint Louis and Morgan and Rossi, take Sacred Heart. See if you can find out anything from the priests,” Hotch said. “Reid, I want you to stay and analyze these letters, see if you can glean anymore information about the unsub's motivation.”

 

The team reconvened a little over an hour later to discuss what they had learned.

 

“Father Abernathy at Saint Louis Church seemed to be pretty clean,” JJ said. “He hadn't noticed anything strange with his congregation and talked a lot about eternal salvation and forgiveness. He said that God was all forgiving and that the heart could be cleansed from any sin if the individual is willing to repent. He also said that though suicide is always a sin, it may be more understandable if the individual was under extreme hardship or psychologically ill. He seemed sympathetic.”

 

“We talked to Father Benalite at Sacred Heart of Mary and he got very upset when we brought up suicide,” Rossi said. “He said that it was an abomination and a blasphemy to God. He also referenced the archangel Michael claiming the souls of those who die in sin.”

 

“Michael is considered to be the guardian of the Catholic church,” Reid said. “He's also the Angel of Death. He is the one who takes the souls to heaven. If they are not believers or are in sin at the time of death, the Angel of Death gives them one last chance to repent before deciding their fate.”

 

“The Angel of Death. Now that's one we've heard before,” Prentiss said.

 

“If the unsub considers himself to be associated with Michael, perhaps he is giving the victims the chance to come clean and if they don't, he forces the victims to commit suicide, thus ending their own lives in sin. Look, each note says that they are unrepentant,” Reid said. Hotch called Garcia.

 

“What can I do for you, boss man?” Garcia asked.

 

“Garcia, I need everything you've got on Father Benelite of Sacred Heart of Mary church.”

 

“Stand by,” Garcia said as she clicked away on her keyboard.

 

“His full name is Father Michael Thomas Benelite. Previously his last name was Anderson. It seems he changed it when he was baptized. It's a sad story. His father was mentally ill and abusive. There are several hospital records of suspicious injuries through his childhood. His father had multiple affairs and his mother left when he was nine, citing adultery as the reason for the divorce. There's a death certificate for his father from three months ago. It seems he committed suicide by taking an arsenic pill.”

 

“Same as the victims. And that's right before the murders started,” JJ said.

 

“The victims all attended Sacred Heart of Mary,” Garcia said.

 

“Looks like that's our guy,” Morgan said.

 

“Let's go bring him in,” Hotch said.

 

After informing the police chief of the development, Rossi, JJ, and Morgan went went back to the church and found it empty accept for the deacon. He said that Father Benelite had left a half hour ago in a gray Honda Civic. Morgan got the license plate number form Garcia and they put an APB out on the car.

 

Hotch, Prentiss, and Reid went to the priest's house and also found it empty. There were stacks of journals obsessing over sin and death and a stash of arsenic. They all went back to the station to go over their next steps.

 

“If the timeline holds, we have four more days until the next victim,” Hotch said. “Let's all turn in for the night. There's nothing more we can do today.” Hotch and Reid went back to their hotel room. Reid flopped down on the bed.

 

“Tired?” Hotch asked as he removed his tie and suit jacket.

 

“Yes. I don't like that he's still out there,” Reid said.

 

“We'll come back fresh tomorrow and find out where he went.”

 

“I need a shower,” Reid said.

 

“Go take one and we'll go to bed.” Reid went to the bathroom and turned on the hot water and undressed. There was a knock at the door.

 

“Mind if I join you?” Hotch asked.

 

“Sure,” Reid said and stepped into the shower. It was hot and relaxing. Hotch undressed and stepped in behind him. He put his arms around Reid and kissed him on the back of the neck. Reid purred. He turned around and ran his fingers along Hotch's back. Hotch shivered.

 

“Don't start something you can't finish,” he warned.

 

“Who said I can't?” Reid asked.

 

“I thought you were tired,” Hotch said.

 

“Not too tired for this.” Reid knelt and took Hotch in his mouth. The older man hummed in pleasure and braced himself against the wall. Reid looked up. He loved to watch his lover's face. He loved that he was the one who could disarm him like this.

 

Reid moved slow, up and down. Hotch moaned and tried to keep himself from thrusting into Reid's mouth. It was difficult, but he managed it.

 

“Don't tease me,” he pleaded. Reid chuckled around him and Hotch shivered. Reid took his time. It was slow build up. Every muscle in Hotch's body was tense.

 

“Damn it, Spencer,” he muttered. Reid smiled and took Hotch all the way back in his throat. He gagged a little and pulled back. Hotch put his hands in Reid's hair and pulled. He knew how much Reid liked it and hoped to urge him along. It worked. Reid picked up the pace. Hotch's breath caught. Reid moved faster, stroking the base of Hotch's dick with his free hand and using his mouth on the end. He came up, circled the tip and went back down. Hotch's breath became shallow and ragged.

 

“I'm going to come,” Hotch warned. Reid ignored him.

 

“Spencer, Oh God!” His body went rigid as he shot his load into Spencer's mouth. Reid continued to work him, riding out the orgasm until Hotch came down. Reid stood up and his knee cracked.

 

“You ok?” Hotch asked.

 

“I'm good. You?” Hotch leaned his head back against the shower wall.

 

“Wonderful,” he said.

 

“Good.” Reid kissed him gently.

 

“Let's wash and get out. The water's getting cold.” Reid moved to grab the shampoo, but Hotch got to it first.

 

“Let me,” he said. He squirted a bit of the shampoo into his hands and worked it into Reid's curls, massaging with his strong hands.

 

“Mmmm. That feels good.” Reid said.

 

“I know how you like you hair played with,” Hotch said.

 

“I do. It's so soothing.” Reid rinsed his hair and they washed quickly. The water was actually cold now. They stepped out and dried. Reid reached for his boxers.

 

“Leave them off,” Hotch said. “I owe you.”

 

“I'm fine,” Reid said.

 

“Are you sure?” Reid put his boxers on and nodded.

 

“Make it up to me when I have more energy.”

 

“I will be sure to do that,” Hotch said. He dressed in his usual flannel pajama pants, they brushed their teeth and climbed into bed with Hotch spooning Reid from behind. They quickly fell asleep.

 

Hotch's phone went off at a quarter past midnight. It was the police chief.

 

“We got him,” he said. “One of the night patrol spotted his vehicle heading out of the city and brought him in.”

 

“Alright, we'll be right there.” Reid groaned and rolled over.

 

“What is it?” he asked.

 

“One of the night patrols got the guy. We need to get to the station.” Reid groaned again.

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Just after midnight.”

 

“Why couldn't they arrest him in the morning?” Hotch snorted.

 

“Come on, sleepyhead. Duty calls.” Hotch woke the rest of the team and they all headed to the station.

 

The unsub was delusional. He believed that was doing the work of God by ridding his congregation of sinners. As soon as they started talking, he confessed, screaming fire and brimstone and threatening to reveal the sins of the team and send them to eternal damnation in hell. The team wrapped up their end of the case with the local PD and flew home the next day.

 

Reid came over and sat next to Hotch who was going over the paperwork for the case they just finished.

 

“I believe you still owe me when we get home,” Reid whispered. Hotch's eyes widened and darted around the plane. No one was playing attention.

 

“Maybe you could use you hands or suck my dick until I come or take me from behind on my knees?”

 

“Spencer!” Aaron hissed. His face was red. Reid's eyes gleamed.

 

“Well, what do you think?” Reid asked.

 

“This isn't the place to be discussing this!”

 

“No one can hear us,” Reid said. “Hold yourself together and no one will know. Maybe you should return the favor in the shower? I liked that. Or just strip me naked as soon as we walk in and take me against the wall.” Aaron cursed under his breath. He was getting very turned on by Reid's whispered dirty talk.

 

“Damn it, Spencer.”

 

“Well?” Reid asked. Hotch's eyes darted around the plane again. If anyone had noticed their whispered conversation, they didn't seem to care. Hotch lowered his voice so that Reid could barely hear him.

 

“I don't know. I can't even think straight right now.” Reid grinned.

 

“Well just think of that on the way home and let me know if you come up with anything. Good luck focusing on your paperwork.” Reid stood and walked to an empty seat on the other side of the plane with a clear view of Hotch who was glaring at him. Reid just smiled.

 

By the time they landed four hours later, Hotch was a wreck. He hadn't managed to get any paperwork done. He was mostly using the files to hide his aching erection. When Reid slid into the passenger seat of the black SUV Hotch was still glaring.

 

“So have you given tonight anymore thought?” Reid asked.

 

“You know I did,” Hotch growled.

 

“And?” Hotch shook his head.

 

“Come on, out with it,” Reid said. Hotch sighed in resignation.

 

“I've imagined a hundred different scenarios, each as good as the last. Just surprise me.” Reid bit his lip as he thought which Hotch found hopelessly erotic. Reid's face lit up.

 

“I've got it,” he said.

 

“What?” Hotch asked.

 

“Just you wait and see,” Reid said. Hotch tried to focus on driving, but all he could think about was his lover's naked body.

 

Once inside the house, Reid pushed Hotch against the door. He kissed Hotch hard and ground his hips into Hotch's aching dick. Hotch groaned and wrapped his arms around Reid's thin waist.

 

“God, I want you so bad,” Hotch said.

 

“Only if you're good,” Reid said.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

 

“You'll see. Bedroom _now_.” Hotch stared at Reid. He wasn't used to being ordered around and it caught him off guard.

 

“Aaron, I said _now._ ” Still shocked at Reid's forcefullness, Hotch made his way to the bedroom with Reid close behind him.

 

“Take off your jacket and tie.” Hotch took off his jacket and tie. His mind reeled. What the hell was Reid doing? Whatever it was, as much as it surprised him, he liked it. The anticipation was killing him. His dick pushed at the front of his pants. All he wanted was to be inside Reid, but he waited quietly to see what Reid told him to do next.

 

“Unbutton your shirt and take it off, slowly.” Hotch did as he was told.

 

“Now your pants and underwear.” Hotch was standing naked in front of Reid. Reid's eyes had fire in them. Reid looked at his lover's dick and saw the precum dribble out.

 

“You like this, don't you?” Reid asked. Hotch cleared his throat. He didn't know what to say. Reid reveled in his speechlessness.

 

“Come undress me,” Reid said. Hotch walked over and slipped Reid's shirt off, fingers exploring his body as if he'd never seen it before. He would never have guessed that Reid had such a dominant side...and he never would have guessed that he had a submissive one.

 

“Kiss me.” Hotch kissed him tentatively and then hard as his desire took over his common sense. Reid's tongue snaked inside his mouth and danced around his own tongue. He pushed his hips into Reid's, desperate for contact. Reid pushed him back and Hotch stumbled.

 

“None of that. I told you to be good. Finish what you started.” Hotch obediently unbuckled Reid's belt and slipped it off and then unbuttoned Reid's pants and pulled them down along with his underwear.

 

“Get on your knees and suck me.”

 

“Spencer...” Hotch said, surprised by the desperation in his own voice.

 

“Do as you're told and I promise to reward you for it,” Reid said gently. Hotch complied and took Reid in his mouth. Reid moaned and braced himself against the dresser. Hotch's hot mouth and tongue worked him, drawing curses from his mouth.

 

“Stop,” Reid said just before he started to climax. Hotch stopped and looked up at him.

 

“God, you're so sexy on your knees,” Reid said. He trailed his fingers softly down the side of Hotch's face. Hotch smiled softly, grateful for the touch.

 

“Do you trust me?” Reid asked.

 

“As nervous as it makes me that you asked that, yes. I trust you.”

 

“Get on the bed and lay on your back.” Hotch lay on the bed as he was instructed as Reid got the lube from the nightstand. Reid sat on the bed next to Hotch and ran his hand through Hotch's hair.

 

“I want to be inside you,” Reid said. Hotch's eyes widened.

 

“I've never done that before.”

 

“I'll be gentle. I don't want to hurt you." As much as Reid was in control of the situation, it was important to him to have Hotch's consent before they explored this new territory together. Hotch took a deep breath.

 

“Ok, I trust you,” Hotch said again. Reid lubed up his fingers and knelt between Hotch's legs. He gently eased one finger in. God, he was so tight. Hotch arched his back and pushed down on Reid's hand. Reid smiled.

 

“Feel good?” he asked.

 

“Yes,” Hotch gasped. Reid worked slowly to open Hotch and prepare him for what came next. When he was satisfied, he lubed his dick and positioned himself at Hotch's entrance.

 

“Are you ready?” Reid asked. Hotch nodded.

 

“This is going to hurt. It always does the first time.” Hotch tensed and braced himself.

 

“You have to relax,” Reid said. “Trust me, Aaron. It's worth it.” Hotch took a deep breath and did as he was told. Reid started to push in slowly and Hotch gripped the comforter on the bed and gritted his teeth.

 

“Relax,” Reid soothed. Hotch willed his muscles to relax and Reid was in.

 

“Just, just give me a second,” Hotch said. Hotch breathed deeply and the pain started to recede.

 

“Ok,” Hotch said. “Go ahead.” Reid bent over Hotch and kissed him as he started moving slowly in and out. Hotch was gasping. He bit down on Reid's shoulder to keep from crying out and Reid winced in pleasure.

 

“Let it out,” Reid urged. “Talk to me.”

 

“Harder! Please!” Hotch begged. Reid obliged. He kissed him passionately and sped up slightly, taking it a little deeper with each thrust.

 

“Oh, God, harder!” Chills went down Reid's spine as he thrusted even harder, slamming into Hotch's ass.

 

“Look at me,” Reid demanded. Hazel eyes met brown and what passed between them was far more vast than anything that could be put into words. Hotch was completely at Reid's mercy. He'd never been laid so bare. He trusted Reid fully and Reid had taken him to a place that was completely foreign and utterly blissful. Reid wrapped one hand around Hotch's dick and stroked in time with his thrusts. Hotch cried out at the overwhelming sensations flooding through him. He dug his nails into Reid's back and dragged them down his skin and Reid shuddered at the pain. Reid sunk his fingers into Hotch's hair and pulled hard.

 

“Come for me,” Reid said firmly. On cue, Hotch let out a yell and went still and tense as the orgasm took him over the edge and cum sprayed across his stomach. Reid gasped at the tightness around him and with a couple more thrusts, was coming, too. When he could move again, Reid collapsed on the bed next to Hotch and gathered him in his arms. They lay still, coming down from the endorphin high and trying to catch their breath.

 

“That...was...amazing,” Hotch said finally. “Thank you.” Reid kissed his temple and handed him his t shirt so he could wipe off.

 

“It was my pleasure,” he said with a grin.

 

“That was just incredible. All of it.”

 

“I'm glad. I was really going out on a limb there. I wasn't sure how you'd take it.”

 

“Well I'm glad you did,” Hotch said. “I didn't know you had that in you.”

 

“It was a first for me, dominance and topping.”

 

“I never would've guessed,” Hotch said. “You're a natural.”

 

“We're all sticky. Let's go clean off.”

 

“Just washing, this time. I don't even know if I can walk.”

 

“Oh, just wait until tomorrow,” Reid said. When they turned on the light in the bathroom, Hotch saw the nail marks on Reid's back.

 

“Oh Spencer, your back,” Hotch said running his fingers over the tender skin.

 

“Is it bad?” Reid asked, craning to get a look in the mirror.

 

“Pretty bad,” Hotch said.

 

“You left some pretty good teeth marks on my shoulder, too.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be,” Reid said with a smirk. “I liked it.”

 

“I'll have to remember that,” Hotch said. In the shower, Reid soaped up the wash cloth and ran it lovingly over Hotch's body, working in a gentle massage as he washed his lover.

 

“How did I get so lucky?” Hotch asked as Reid shampooed his hair.

 

“I don't know. Must have a lot of good karma built up from catching bad guys,” Reid said. Hotch rinsed his hair as Reid washed up and they got out and dried off.

 

“I'm exhausted.” Hotch said, yawning.

 

“Me, too. That was a lot of work.” Hotch chuckled.

 

“It's a lot more strenuous than it looks.” As the couple laid together in bed, Reid drifted off quickly. Hotch watched him sleep and played with his curls, thinking again about how in love he was and how much he wanted to marry this man. How could one fall so in love so fast? A dozen scenarios played in his mind. How would he know when the time was right? What kind of ring should he get? How should he propose? As he fell asleep, Hotch thought to himself that he might need a little outside help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	7. G is for Gratitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan helps Reid move in. Hotch and Reid take a naked dip in the pool.
> 
> It’s a short one tonight. I’m sleepy.

Morgan helped move Reid in to Hotch's house over the weekend. They were all exhausted and grateful to be off rotation for the next week, baring an emergency.

 

“So. Many. Books,” Morgan groaned as he flopped down on Hotch's loveseat. “Books are fuckin' heavy.”

 

“It's the majority of what I own,” Reid said innocently.

 

“Don't I know it,” Morgan said.

 

“Can I get you a beer?” Hotch asked.

 

“I should actually leave here in a little bit,” Morgan said. “I have dinner plans tonight.”

 

“Reid?”

 

“Yes, please,” Reid said. Hotch carried the beers into the living room and handed one to Reid. Then he sat next to Reid on the couch. Reid leaned back against the corner of the couch and put his bare feet on Hotch's lap.

 

“So, who's the lucky lady?” Reid asked.

 

“No lucky lady,” Morgan said with a laugh. “My old college roommate is in town. We're going to chow down on some wings and reminisce about the good ol' days.”

 

“Sounds like fun,” Reid said.

 

“Oh he's a trip. We meet up whenever he's in town for business.” Morgan left a few minutes later and Hotch and Reid were alone in their house.

 

“It's nice that I can officially call this home,” Reid said.

 

“I'm happy to have you here,” Hotch replied. Reid let his head fall back on the couch.

 

“I'm so sore,” he said. Hotch put his beer down and started to rub Reid's aching feet.

 

“Mmmm. That feels good.”

 

“I was thinking about ordering pizza tonight,” Hotch said. “I don't think either of us has energy to cook.”

 

“That's fine with me,” Reid said.

 

“And then maybe a dip in the pool?”

 

“That sounds good, too. I like being in the water after the sun goes down.”

 

“It's colder that way.”

 

“Yeah but you can warm me up.” Hotch smiled and pulled out his cell phone.

 

“That I can. What do you want on the pizza?” he asked.

 

“Extra cheese, sausage, and pineapple,” Reid answered promptly.

 

“That's disgusting.”

 

“To each their own.”

 

“OK we can do pineapple on half.” Hotch dialed the number for the nearest pizza shop and placed the order.

 

“They said it will be about 45 minutes,” Hotch said when he hung up. Reid groaned.

 

“What am I going to do for the next 45 minutes?”

 

“I have an idea,” Hotch said with a smile.

 

“Nothing strenuous,” Reid said warningly. “I'm already sore.”

 

“Nothing strenuous,” Hotch promised. “I'll be right back.” Hotch went to the bathroom and returned to the living room with a bottle of lotion.

 

“Shirt off and roll over,” Hotch said as he squirted some lotion on his hands. Reid took his shirt off and rolled over onto his stomach and was rewarded by Hotch stradling his hips and rubbing his strong hands down Reid's back. Reid jerked.

 

“Cold!” he said. Hotch chuckled.

 

“Sorry.” He worked the lotion into his lovers shoulders and massaged he sore muscles firmly but gently. Reid sighed in pleasure.

 

“That feels amazing,” he mumbled. “You're the best.”

 

“No you are,” Hotch said. Reid laughed.

 

“You're a big ol' softie,” he said.

 

“Don't tell anyone,” Hotch said. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

 

“You're secret is safe with me.” Hotch continued to work his hands over Reid's back, moving across his shoulder blades, down his spine, over his sides, to his lower back, alternating light light touches and kneading massage. Reid's breath deepened and his eyes fluttered shut. Hotch kissed him on the shoulder.

 

“You have to stay awake for pizza,” he said.

 

“Right. Pizza.” Hotch used his thumbs to work Reid's tired neck.

 

“You have such strong hands,” Reid said. “I love the way you touch me.” Hotch worked his hands into Reid's hair and massaged his temples. Reid moaned.

 

“You're going to put me to sleep,” he said. Hotch responded by smacking him on the ass. Reid jerked.

 

“That was not nice.”

 

“You liked it,” Hotch said.

 

“I can't argue,” Reid said. The door bell rang and Hotch got up to get it. It was the pizza delivery woman. Hotch paid her and brought in a box of pizza and a box of cheesy bread which he sat down on the coffee table.

 

“Dig in,” he said. Hotch and Reid demolished their pizza and bread. They'd really worked up an appetite moving, and with all the activity of the day, hadn't eaten since breakfast.

 

“I could eat pizza every day,” Reid said in between bites.

 

“That's terrible for you,” Hotch said, always the practical one.

 

“I'm aware,” Reid said. “That's why I don't. But I could.” When they were done, Hotch cleaned up the empty boxes and threw them in the trash.

 

“Still intersted in a dip in the pool?” Hotch asked.

 

“I just realized that I don't own any swim trunks,” Reid said.

 

“Who needs swim trunks? It's an in-ground pool and I have a privacy fence.”

 

“Are you suggesting we get in naked?”

 

“Obviously.”

 

“You are a wild one. If only the rest of the team knew what was under your strong silent persona.”

 

“You said you would keep that a secret,” Hotch said. He pulled Reid up off the couch and into his arms. “Besides, this is only for you. No one has ever made me feel as safe and loved as you do.” Rei'd s eyes shined.

 

“I love you, Aaron,” he said.

 

“I know,” Hotch said. “Come on. Let's go get wet.” Hotch gave him a peck on the lips and they walked outside to the pool. The sun was setting and the sky was starting to get dark. The moon was coming out from behind some clouds and the sky was streaked in purples, pinks, and oranges.

 

“Do you know why the sky turns colors?” Reid asked.

 

“Enlighten me.”

 

“Scattering affects the color of light coming from the sky, but the details are determined by the wavelength of the light and the size of the particle. Molecules and small particles in the atmosphere change the direction of light rays, causing them to scatter and resulting in colorful sunsets... Does it bother you that I explain things? I don't mean to insult your intelligence. Hotch took off his shirt and tossed it on a lawn chair.

 

“Spencer, I'm in love with your brilliant mind.”

 

“I never expected someone to wholly accept and enjoy me,” Reid said. “Most people just tolerate me.”

 

“I don't think you give yourself enough credit. The team loves you. You're invaluble to us. Your mother is so proud of you. I love you. No one else matters.”

 

“That means a lot to me.” Hotch and Reid finished stripping down. The water was cool when Hotch dipped his toe into it. He took a step back, positioned his hands over his head, and dove into the deep end. When he reached the bottom, he pushed off and shot back up to the surface. Reid was sitting on the edge of the pool just where the shallow met the deep, swinging his legs back and forth in the water.

 

“Come in,” Hotch said, swimming over to him. “Stop sitting on the edge watching, and jump in.”  
  


“I feel like that was your attempt at a lame metaphor,” Reid said.

 

“It was,” Hotch said. “But this isn’t.” Before Reid had a chance to react, Hotch grabbed his hand and pulled him into the water. Reid came up sputtering and laughing.  
  
“You jackass!” he shouted. Hotch took a deep breath, went under and shot toward him. Reid tried to get away, but Hotch was a much faster swimmer. Hotch caught Reid around the waist and popped up from under the water.  
  
“You can't out-swim me," Hotch said.  
  
"OK, OK,” Reid said, laughing. “I surrender.” Hotch leaned in and kissed Reid. He ran his hands over Reid's wet body and savored the feel of him. The kiss started slow and sweet but quickly built in urgency. Reid put his hands on Hotch's waist and pulled him close so they were skin the skin. He sank his fingers into Hotch's hair and kissed him hard. Reid nipped Hotch's bottom lip and Hotch moaned. They pulled apart and Hotch took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. Reid trailed is fingers down Hotch's cheek and brushed his thumb over his lips.  
  
“You're gorgeous,” Reid said.  
  
“I don't think anyone has ever told me that before.”  
  
“Well that's a damn shame. I love your brown eyes, your soft hair, your strong hands, your tight muscles and you have a smile that absolutely melts me when you let it show.”  
  
“You brought that out in me,” Hotch said. “Not even Haley saw this side of me. I didn't even know there was this side of me.”  
  
“I'm so grateful every day to have your love and trust. I know that it's a big deal for you to let your guard down and I want you to know that I don't take it lightly. I know I will let you down eventually. It's human nature. I won't promise you tha tI won't. I will promise that I will be there to help you back up again.”  
  
“Same here,” Hotch said. “I wish I could express myself like you do.”  
  
“You express yourself fine. Everyone has their own language. I just had to learn yours.”  
  
“That makes sense.” The sky had gone completely dark and the stars had come out. Reid turned over and floated on his back and examined the sky.  
  
“Pop quiz,” he said. “What's your favorite constellation?”  
  
“I don't know that I've ever thought of it before. Maybe Orion? The dippers are too obvious. Orions really the only other one I know. What's yours?”  
  
“Definitely Orion. It's located on the celestial equator, and is one of the most prominent and recognizable constellations in the sky and can be seen throughout the world. It's the brightest and most beautiful of the constellations, in my opinion. Some of its stars, including Betelgeuse and Rigel, are among the brightest stars. Did you know that the word constellation comes from a Latin term meaning 'set with stars?'”  
  
“I did not. My knowledge of Latin is pretty much limited to legal terms.”  
  
“The largest constellation by area is Hydra which is 3.16 percent of the sky. The smallest is Crux which only takes up 0.17 percent of the sky. Small patterns of stars within a constellation are called asterisms.” Reid stood back up in the water and swam back over to Hotch. He was starting to shiver in the night air.  
  
“Cold?” Hotch asked.  
  
“Yes. Being naked doesn't help.”  
  
“Let's get inside and get you warmed up.” They climbed out of the pool and Hotch noticed a problem.  
  
“Damn it. I forgot towels,” he said. Reid wrapped his arms around himself and shivered.  
  
“You suck,” he said.  
  
“Yeah, but I'm good at it,” Hotch said with a grin.  
  
“No argument there.” Reid grabbed their clothes and they went inside. Reid stood dripping on the kitchen floor as Hotch dashed to the hall closet and returned with a couple beach towels.  
  
“Here, dry off so you don't catch a cold,” Hotch said. Reid took the towel and began to rub down.  
  
“By definition, a cold is a viral upper respiratory infection. You don't actually get it from low temperatures.”  
  
“OK, brainiac. Just dry off.” They dried and went to the bedroom to get dressed. Hotch pulled down the covers and they climbed into bed.  
  
“Warm me up,” Reid said as he scooted over to Hotch.  
  
“With pleasure,” Hotch said as he wrapped his arms around Reid. He kissed Reid on the forehead and they drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	8. H is for Holding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid and Hotch have their first fight.
> 
> This is chapter is for the lovely Queen+B. Hope you like!

SSA Aaron Hotchner was having a bad day. He and Reid drove separately to work because Hotch needed to be early to meet with Chief Erin Strauss. On the way in to work, Hotch was rear ended on the highway. It was just a fender bender, but he missed his meeting and Strauss was none to pleased. By the time he got to work, she was in quite a state and during their meeting she reamed him for the way they had handled their last case and said that the team was under investigation for it. He knew that he had followed protocol and there was nothing they could get them on, but Strauss, with her very limited field experience, saw the situation differently. Hotch was buried under paperwork and, in an attempt to catch up on the day, missed lunch. On a coffee break, someone bumped into him and caused him to spill scalding hot coffee all over himself and drop and break his favorite coffee mug which had been a gift from Reid.

 

And then there was the phone call. It came late, just when Hotch was thinking the day couldn't get worse. When he hung up he was grinding his teeth. His usually short temper had just reached its limit. When he got in his car to leave for the day, he found that it wouldn't start. He had to call Reid to turn around and come get him.

 

On the way home, Reid could do nothing right. He didn't drive fast enough, he turned too slow, his music was all wrong and Hotch questioned out loud why he didn't just drive himself. By the time Reid got them home, he'd had it with Hotch's attitude.

 

They ate dinner in silence and Reid cleaned up. He ran the dishwasher, but Hotch stopped it and pulled several dishes out.

 

“You can't fill it too full or they won't get clean,” Hotch admonished. Reid glared at him.

 

“Seriously, Spencer. You need to pay attention inside of living in that fantasy world inside your head.” Reid recoiled as if Hotch had just slapped him. Hotch knew immediately that he had gone to far and reached out for Reid.

 

“Spencer, I'm sorry.” Reid pushed his hand away.

 

“Leave me alone,” Reid said, and went out to the back yard to sit on the porch swing by himself. Hotch cursed himself as the harsh words from the phone conversation earlier flooded back into his mind and dug in. She was right about everything. He was cold and stern and no good at relationships and he wondered how long it would be before Reid realized that for himself. Right or not, he still owed Reid an apology. Hotch took a deep breath and walked out to the back patio where Reid was laying, stretched out on the porch swing. There were tear streaks on his cheeks.

 

When Reid saw Hotch coming, he sat up and moved to the far side of the swing. When Hotch sat down, Reid scooted a little further away and angled slightly away from him. Hotch leaned forward so his elbows were on his knees and his head was in his hands. They sat in silence for a moment. Hotch was incredibly frustrated that his feelings didn't seem to want to form themselves into words. He wanted to pour his heart out to Reid and had no idea what to say. At least he knew where to start. Hotch sat up and turned toward Reid. Reid stiffened.

 

“Spencer, I'm so sorry,” Hotch said quietly.

 

“I know you had a bad day, but it's not OK to take it out on me.” Reid's voice was even, but Hotch could hear the hurt behind it. Reid's mind was his greatest gift and greatest curse. He'd been tormented for his genius all through school by children who would never be his peers. He didn't have friends. The BAU was the first place he had ever really belonged. The team loved and accepted him just for what and who he was. To have that thrown in his face cut him deep.

 

“You're absolutely right. I don't mean it Spencer. I love your beautiful mind. I was feeling out of control and I lashed out at you and I was wrong.”

 

“You felt out of control because of the car and a broken coffee mug?” Reid asked with a “give me a break” kind of look.

 

“That's not even the half of it,” Hotch said. He hadn't yet told Reid what else had happened that day.

 

“The meeting with Strauss this morning?”

 

“That's part of it. The team is under investigation for our last case.” Reid softened a little and turned toward Hotch.

 

“Because the witness was shot in the hospital?” Reid asked.

 

“Yes,” Hotch said.

 

“We had two police officers posted outside her room. There was no way we could have known that one of them would turn on the other and then take out our witness.”

 

“I know that and you know that, but try getting that through Strauss's head.”

 

“Is there any disciplinary action?”

 

“Not so far, but I don't expect any. Strauss is just being Strauss, picking apart the team and waiting all of our time.”

 

“So what was the other part?” Hotch swallowed hard and looked away.

 

“Haley called,” he said. Reid bristled.

 

“What did she want?”

 

“She's getting married.”

 

“Why would she call to tell you that?”

 

“It's never that simple with Haley. It wasn't just a curiosity call.”

 

“What did she say?” Reid asked. He saw the pain written all over Hotch. Hotch's gaze was distant and unfocused. He crossed his legs and wrapped his arms around his waist as thought he was trying to fold into himself. He looked so utterly alone. Reid reached out and touched Hotch's leg.

 

“Aaron?”

 

“She found out that we were together. I assume Jessica told her. She said that eventually my true colors would show and that, if you were as smart as she'd heard, you would see me for who I really am and leave.” Anger flooded Reid's body. He pulled Hotch closer to him so that Hotch was leaning against his chest and wrapped both arms around him.

 

“I'm not leaving,” he said simply and firmly.

 

“We haven't been in this very long,” Hotch countered.

 

“Aaron, I knew I loved you before our first date. I've seen a side of your life that Haley never will. I've seen you put your life on the line to save this team, not to mention the victims we bring justice for and those we save from becoming victims. Haley will never see that. If staring down the barrel of a gun doesn't show a person's true colors, I don't know what does.” Hotch was quiet.

 

“There's more, isn't there?” Reid asked. “What else did she say?”

 

“That I cared more about my job than anything in my life and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stay on top even if that means abandoning the ones I love most.”

 

“That doesn't even make sense,” Reid said. “You didn't abandon her. She cheated on you and then left you for the guy.”

 

“For a year,” Hotch said.

 

“What?”

 

“She was with him for a year before we even split up.”

 

“Well, see? There you go.”

 

“Haley had a hard time with me being gone so much and the late hours when I was home and being in constant danger.”

 

“You said it yourself the other day. People think they understand this job, but unless you've done it, you really can't understand it. That's not an issue here. And yes, I'm am going to worry about you, but we are on equal footing. I've seen you put yourself in harm's way, but I've also seen you get out of impossible situations. You're a strong intelligent man and you can handle yourself. And besides that, you have the rest of the team. We work together to make sure everyone gets home safe.” When Hotch spoke again, his voice was very small.

 

“She also told me that I was damaged goods and that if she couldn't love me, no one could.” Reid had to grit his teeth and take several slow deep breaths before he could respond.

 

“Aaron, sit up and look at me,” Reid said when he had pulled himself together. Aaron sat up and turned to face Reid but looked out over his shoulder. Reid took both of his hands.

 

“Look me in the eyes, Aaron.” Hotch met Reid's gaze.

 

“I don't know your whole life history like Haley does, but I was well aware that you had pain and scars and baggage when I got into this relationship. Do you remember what you told me when you found me in the bathroom that one morning having a panic attack? I said that you didn't sign up for this and you said that you wanted all of me, the good and the bad. So understand from that place why I am here with you right now. We chase monsters for a living. This job takes everything we think we know about ourselves and the world and turns it inside out. It hurts us. It damages us. Life damages us. We wouldn't be human if it didn't. Are you damaged? Yes. So am I. And I want all of you.” Hotch smiled softly.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“I love you, Aaron.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“Come here,” Reid said. He pulled Hotch down so Hotch's head was in his lap. Hotch curled his legs up onto the swig and Reid kicked his legs back and for gently to rock them.

 

“I really am sorry,” Hotch said quietly. Reid ran his hands through Hotch's hair.

 

“I know you are,” Reid said. “Next time let's talk about it before it gets to be an argument.”

 

“I'm not good with volunteering feelings. I can reciprocate well enough, but I don't always know when or how to bring things up myself.”

 

“You'll learn. We'll learn together.”

 

\--------------------

 

Aaron didn't know how there could possibly have be so many men's wedding bands. Haley had picked his out for him. And what were two men supposed to do with rings? You had to have a ring when you proposed, obviously, but what about the wedding band? Men's rings were bigger than women's and you couldn't wear two on the same finger.

 

Hotch looked over at his lover, asleep next to him. It had to be perfect. He brushed the hair off of Reid's face and smiled, then he continued to scroll through his phone. There were white gold, yellow gold, rose, tungsten, titanium, silver, even wooden wedding bands. He saw black ones and blue ones and ones with and without gems. He figured Reid would want something simple but not boring. Hotch figured that if both of the bands were thin, they could be worn together. He wanted Reid to have an engagement ring. He wanted the world to know that Dr. Spencer Reid was his long before they said “I do.” Assuming Reid said yes. And if he didn’t? Well, Hotch wasn't going to think about that. It had to be perfect and he had to spend every day from now to then earning that “yes” that he so wanted.

 

When he saw the ring, he knew. It was a thin white gold band with a single ¼ karat diamond inset in the center. Simple, but elegant. He clicked the button to add it to the cart and then pulled his wallet out of his night stand to get his credit card information. He stopped a moment before he hit the confirm order button. He couldn't have the ring shipped to the house, Reid would ask questions. He thought for a moment. He didn't really want to try going to different ring stores when he had the perfect ring ring in front him. Then he had a thought. Maybe JJ would let him ship it to her house.

 

He bookmarked the page and then plugged his phone into the charger. Then he turned off the bedside light and snuggled down to wrap his arms around Reid. He would ask JJ in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	9. I is for Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this did not go at all as I had planned. Who knew Reid was into that? Sometimes to story writes itself.
> 
> Reid has a panic attack at work. Hotch and Reid get ice cream on the way home...and things get a little crazy in the bedroom.

Hotch kept an eye out for JJ the next morning and when she walked into the bullpen, Hotch intercepted her before she got to her office. Keeping his face purposefully neutral, he stepped out of his office and called to her.

 

“JJ, I need to speak to you in my office for a minute.” JJ frowned.

 

“Is everything OK?” she asked once Hotch had closed the door. Hotch broke into a rare full-toothed Aaron Hotchner smile.

 

“Everything is fine. I need your help with something.”

 

“Of course. Anything,” JJ said.

 

“I'm going to propose to Spencer.” JJ's face lit up.

 

“That's wonderful! When are you going to do it?”

 

“I'm not sure, but I was thinking on his birthday.”

 

“October 12th, right?” JJ asked.

 

“Yes,” Hotch said.

 

“So what do you need my help with?”

 

“I found a ring online, but I can't have it shipped to the house for obvious reasons. I was wondering if I could ship it to yours.”

 

“Absolutely.” Hotch pulled out his phone and showed her the ring.

 

“It's perfect. Spence is going to love it.”

 

“God I hope so. If he doesn't say yes, I don't know what I'll do.”

 

“Hotch, that boy is crazy in love with you. I'm glad things are working out so well for you guys. Everyone's noticed that difference you two have made in each other.” Hotch got JJ's address and finalized to order.

 

“Well that's that,” he said. “You can tell Prentiss, of course, but this can't go any further.” JJ made a zipping motion over her lips.

 

“No a word. I promise.”

 

“Thanks. You canget back to work now.” JJ went to her office and Hotch sat down at his desk, his mind wandered as he made his way through his stack of files. He had three months to come up with the perfect proposal.

 

\--------------

 

Morgan, Hotch and Reid were the only ones left at the BAU when Reid's head started to hurt. He hadn't been feeling well that day and instead of joking around with his team through the day, he'd been quiet and withdrawn. Still he pressed on through his paperwork. His headache continued to escalate. Then his heart began to race. _No! Not here!_ he thought. His hands were shaking and he sat his pen down, unable to think straight. Maybe he could make it to the bathroom. He stood up, stumbled, and fell back down in his chair.

 

“Reid? You OK, kid?” Morgan asked. Reid wrapped his arms around his middle and laid his head down on his desk, willing himself to calm down. Emotions flooded his brain driving out all thoughts and replacing them with overwhelming fear. Morgan walked over to him, frowning with concern, and placed his hand on Reid's shoulder. Reid jumped and jerked away. Tears were streaming down his face.

 

“Hotch!” Morgan yelled. Hotch looked out through his blinds and saw Reid hunched over at his desk. He strode quickly out of his office and down to where Reid was sitting. He pulled a chair over next to Reid and sat down, then he pulled Reid into his chest and wrapped both arms tight around him. Reid balled his fists in Hotch's shirt and hung on like he was going to drown.

 

“He has panic attacks,” Hotch said quietly to Morgan. Morgan watched astounded as Reid's body trembled in Hotch's arms and he cried. Hotch held him so gently, rocking him slowly back and forth and whispering reassurances in his ear to ground him. Morgan had never considered that there could be a tender side to his boss, but he saw it now.

 

“Is there anything I can do?” Morgan asked quietly. Hotch shook his head. Morgan stood with his arms crossed, worry on his face, helpless.

 

“He just has to ride it out,” Hotch said. It was another three minutes before the tears stopped, and then the shaking abated. Hotch loosened one arm and ran his fingers through Reid's hair. Reid didn't move. He was humiliated and didn't want to look at Morgan. He couldn't avoid it all night, though. He took a deep breath and sat up. His eyes were red from crying and his face was flushed in embarrassment. 

 

“Are you OK, Spencer?” Hotch asked softly.

 

“My head. Hurts so bad,” Reid mumbled.

 

“I've got 800 mg tablets of Ibuprofen in my desk from getting that tooth pulled,” Morgan said. “Do you want one?” 

 

“Yes, please.” Morgan fished the pills out of his desk along with an unpoened bottle of water and took them to Reid. Reid swallowed a pill and handed the Ibuprofen bottle back to Morgan.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“What happened?” Hotch asked.

 

“I don't know. I usually get them from the nightmares,” Reid said.

 

“You've been kind of out of it and quiet all day,” Morgan said.

 

“I haven't been feeling well,” Reid said.

 

“Are you getting sick?” Hotch asked.

 

“Not that kind of not feeling well. My anxiety was really high.”

 

“Why didn't you say something?” Hotch asked.

 

“I was trying to focus on my work.”

 

“Spencer, we talked about this. You need to come to me with this.”

 

“I know. It's just never happened at work before. I didn't know what to do.”

 

“You can always talk to me, Spencer,” Hotch said. "I don't care when or where." Reid was quiet. “Let's get you home. Everything else can wait.” Hotch looked sharply up at Morgan and the look of fierce protectiveness on Hotch's face made Morgan take a step back.

 

“I don't think I need to tell you that this doesn't go any further than us,” Hotch said, his voice hard and threatening. Morgan put his hands up.

 

“Look, I just want what's best for Reid. You know I'm not going to go running off my mouth.” Hotch's face softened. He nodded.

 

“I know. Sorry.”

 

“I get it. You're just looking out for him.”

 

“Why don't you go home, Morgan. I'll take care of Spencer.” Morgan looked from Hotch to Reid and back. He nodded. He had no doubt that Hotch would do whatever it took to make sure Reid was OK.

 

Reid didn't say a word from the time they left the BAU or in the car until Hotch broached the subject.

 

“Spencer, we have to talk about this. I hate to be in this position with you, but as your boss I'm going to recommend that you see a trauma specialist. There are good ones in the bureau. There's no shame in it. I've seen one before. As your boyfriend, I'm worried about you. It's one thing to have a panic attack after a nightmare, but if this were to happen on a case... I don't need to explain how detrimental and dangerous that could be.”

 

“I understand. I'll do it,” Reid said.

 

“I wish I would have suggested it sooner. I hate to see you go through this.”

 

“I didn't want to see anyone. I thought I could handle it. I thought I was getting better.”

 

“Do you have any idea what triggered it?”

 

“I don't know. I was anxious today, but I didn't really give it much thought. I had a headache, but the panic attack just seemed to come out of no where. One moment I was OK. The next moment I wasn't.” Hotch reached over to Reid in the passenger seat and took his hand.

 

“We'll get through this together. You're not alone.” Reid gave Hotch a small smile.

 

“I know. Thank you.”

 

“How are you feeling now?” Hotch asked.

 

“Apart from humiliated, I'm OK. It always passes. That's what gets me through it. That and knowing you're there,” Reid said.

 

“Would you be OK to go out?”

 

“I think so. What did you have in mind?” 

 

“I was thinking we could stop at that little ice cream shop on the way home. Sweets seem to always make you feel better.” This time Reid gave Hotch a real smile.

 

“You know me so well. That sounds good.”

 

Hotch pulled into the parking lot at Taggert's and they walked into the shop hand in hand. Hotch ordered a bowl of vanilla caramel swirl (He was branching out.) and Reid got death by chocolate – chocolate ice cream with a chocolate swirl and fudge and brownie pieces covered in hot fudge. Hotch shook his head.

 

“I don't know how you can eat that. It's way too much chocolate,” he said. 

 

“There's no such thing as way too much chocolate. Besides, chocolate releases endorphins and serotonin. It's a feel-good food. So do strawberries, animals proteins, nuts, oranges, spicy foods, and ginseng. Sugar in general has a similar effect on the brain as cocaine and can be just as addictive.” Hotch took another bite of his ice cream and smiled.

 

“You know what else releases endorphins and serotonin?” Hotch asked.

 

“I don't know,” Reid said innocently. “Why don't you tell me?”

 

“I'd rather show you.”

 

“I want to hear you say it,” Reid said as he leaned closer.

 

“Not here,” Hotch said. Reid leaned back looking smug.

 

“I'll get you talking dirty eventually,” he said.

 

“Yeah. Good luck.” They finished their ice cream and hurried home, both eager for what was to come.

 

As soon as they were inside, Hotch pushed Reid up against the door and kissed him slowly but full of fire. Reid dropped his messenger bag on the floor and wrapped his arms around Hotch's neck.

 

“I want to make you feel good,” Hotch said when they broke apart.

 

“You always make me feel good,” Reid said. Hotch took off his suit jacket and tie and tossed them on the couch. He pulled Reid's sweater vest over his head and threw it on the couch with his clothes. Hotch started working the buttons on Reid's shirt as he kissed him again, but he wasn't coordinated enough to do both at the same him. Reid pushed Hotch's hands away, laughing.

 

“I'll get it,” Reid said. They stumbled through the living room and hallway to the bedroom, discarding clothes as they went. When they got into the bedroom, all that was left was their underwear. Hotch pushed Reid's boxers off and they fell to the floor. Reid kissed him, harder this time.

 

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered in Hotch's ear. Hotch's face flushed.

 

“Spencer...” Reid pulled back to look at Hotch's face.

 

“Tell me.” Reid urged. “I want to hear you say it.” Hotch blushed harder and looked at the floor. Reid tilted his chin up so their eyes met.

 

“Come on, Aaron. What do you want to do to me?” Hotch put his arms on the walls on either side of Reid's shoulders and pressed his body against him, pinning him to the wall.

 

“I want to take you right here like this,” he said. Reid grinned.

 

“Was that so hard?” he asked.

 

“Yes, as a matter of fact it was,” Hotch said. He let Reid go and went to the nightstand to get the lube, discarding his own boxers on the way back. Hotch knelt down in front of Reid and took his half-hard dick in one hand and licked a line up the underside, stopping to swirl his tongue around the tip before taking him all the way in his mouth. Reid sucked in a breath between clenched teeth as Hotch's wet mouth surrounded him. Hotch sucked him until he was hard and then guided Reid's left leg up over his shoulder. He lubed up the first three fingers on his right hand and eased the first two inside Reid. Reid groaned and let his head fall back against the wall. When he was ready, Hotch worked the third finger in, stretching and preparing Reid to have Hotch's dick inside him. When he was satisfied, he lowered Reid's leg back to the ground and stood up.

 

“Hop up and wrap your legs around my waist,” Hotch instructed. Reid did and wrapped his arms around Hotch's neck tightly. Hotch pressed him against the wall to steady them. He lowered Reid slowly to the right position and then guided his dick inside. Reid hissed in pleasure and let his head fall against Hotch's shoulder. Hotch started to move slowly, testing Reid's weight and getting the right movement. 

 

The weight of Reid's body pressed him down against Hotch's dick hard and he took him in deep. It was painful. He was going to be sore as fuck tomorrow, but right now the penetration was worth it. Hotch moved them at a steady pace, building slowly. Reid's dick rubbed between them, getting friction against Hotch's stomach. He raked his fingers down Hotch's back, causing Hotch to shudder in pleasure and speed up. Hotch was so deep inside him, hitting his prostate with every thrust. 

 

Hotch bit down hard on Reid's shoulder to keep from crying out. Reid reveled in the pain. Hotch moved faster, pressing in even deeper until Reid thought he could barely stand it. It hurt so bad, but Reid was loving every second of it. He never knew he could be so turned on by the pain. He wasn't getting enough friction from his dick between them to bring him to climax, but his hands were wrapped around Hotch's shoulders and Hotch was using both arms to hold them up. His mind was flashing between pleasure and pain until he thought he would absolutely lose his mind in desperation, but he couldn't manage to form a single word. 

 

Hotch sped up again, coming closer to his own release until his body went rigid and he was cumming inside Reid. He pulled out and Reid released his legs, slipping down the wall onto the floor. The contact with the hard floor hurt.

 

“Are you ok?” Hotch asked. Reid was in a stupor. 

 

“I need you...” Reid managed hazily. Hotch saw that Reid was still hard and he understood. He scooped Reid up off the floor and laid him down on the bed. He took Reid in his mouth.

 

“Don't tease,” Reid said firmly. Hotch took up a quick pace, but Reid was missing the pain.

 

“Inside,” Reid gasped and bent his legs so Hotch had access. Hotch put on finger inside him.

 

“More!” Reid said. “Hard!” Hotch obliged and put two more fingers inside him and pounded Reid ass with his hand, curling his fingers to hit his sweet spot. Reid let out a yell and everything went black. When he came to a few moments later, Hotch was shaking him. Reid's eyes fluttered open. 

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Hotch swore. “You scared the shit out of me. Are you OK?” Reid nodded dumbly. He took several slow deep breaths, willing his heart to stop racing and his breathing to return to normal.

 

“I'm good. Very very good,” Reid said.

 

“What the hell happened?” Hotch asked.

 

“Le petite mort.”

 

“What?”

 

“The little death. Orgasm so strong you pass out. Oxygen to the brain, blood pressure, etcetera, etcetera.”

 

“Fuck,” Hotch swore again. Reid smiled.

 

“Take it as a compliment. I've never experienced it, never seen it, but it happens on rare occasions.” Hotch laid down on his back and pulled Reid so that he was laying on Hotch's chest.

 

“That was pretty rough,” Hotch said. “Are you sure you're ok?”

 

“Aaron that was by far the best orgasm I've ever had in my life,” Reid said. “Apparently I like pain...” he added shyly.

 

“Well that's good to know,” Hotch said.

 

“You don't think it's weird?” Reid asked cautiously.

 

“You like what you like and I like to make you feel good. If you're going to pass out every time we do something like that, though, I might have to rethink it. That was terrifying.”

 

“I'll work on my breathing,” Reid said. 

 

“You're not going to be able to sit for days,” Hotch said.

 

“Worth it,” Reid said. “Besides, it'll serve to remind me of tonight.” Hotch chuckled.

 

“I've never seen you this worked up before. We'll have to explore this further.”

 

“I'm glad you don't think it's weird.”

 

“With everything that we've seen, liking a little pain is pretty sane, wouldn't you say?”

 

“Fair point. What do you want to do now?”

 

“We both need a shower before anything else. And then...maybe I could read to you tonight?”

 

“That sounds perfect.” Reid moved off of Hotch and sat up slowly. When he went to stand up, he stumbled. Hotch caught him.

 

“Are your legs working?” Hotch asked with a smug smile.

 

“Apparently not so much.” Hotch gave Reid a moment to steady himself and then they made their way to the bathroom. They washed quickly, got dressed, brushed their teeth and headed back to the bedroom.

 

“What do you want to read?” Hotch asked. He looked at the bookshelves in his bedroom where Reid had managed to sneak some of his own books.

 

“Whatever you want,” Reid said.

 

“What's Brave New Word?”

 

“Aldus Huxely. That's a good one. It's a futuristic dystopian about the human race completely under the control of global capitalism.”

 

“That sounds...interesting,” Hotch said. 

 

“I'm not sure you would like it.”

 

“Probably not. You know books better than I do. Pick something.” 

 

“Let's try To Kill a Mocking Bird,” Reid said. “Left bookshelf, second row, fifth one in.” Hotch grabbed the book and they settled into bed. Once they were in a comfortable position, Hotch started to read.

 

“When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. When it healed, and Jem’s fears of never being able to play football were assuaged, he was seldom self-conscious about his injury. His left arm was somewhat shorter than his right; when he stood or walked, the back of his hand was at right angles to his body, his thumb parallel to his thigh. He couldn’t have cared less, so long as he could pass and punt.” Hotch's deep steady voice soothed Reid as he lay with one arm slung over Hotch's midsection and their legs tangled together. As he drifted off to sleep, the thought occurred to him that there was no one else in the world that he could possibly see spending the rest of his life with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	10. J is for... Just read it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not giving anything away. Just read it yourself and prepare for the fluff and feels.

Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner were not perfect. They both had their own demons. Hotch was still working on being open about his feelings. Reid was working on trusting Hotch to support him when he struggled. Both men were working to accept that the other could fully love and accept them just the way they were, flaws and all. Sometimes they argued. Sometimes they just were not on the same page. They may not have been perfect, but Reid was certain they were perfect for each other. Sometimes that scared him. Along with the fulfillment of desire came the fear of loss.

 

Reid had been seeing a trauma psychologist for the bureau and they had uncovered, among other things, Reid's fear of losing Hotch, whether by his choosing to leave their relationship, by an act of violence, or by some freak accident. His counselor suggested that he talk it out with Hotch, and Reid, eager to follow suggestions, agreed to do so. They were at a small burger joint in town one Friday evening when he broached the subject.

 

“Aaron,” Reid started cautiously. “Where do you see this relationship going?” Hotch was momentarily taken aback by the abruptness of the question and took another bite of his hamburger to give him a moment to think over his words.

 

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Hotch said simply. Saying the words out loud took Hotch's breath away while he waited for Reid to respond, but Reid was quiet.

 

“What do you want?” Hotch asked finally.

 

“That's what I want, too,” Reid said. His face was drawn and his body language was uncomfortable.

 

“What's on your mind, Spencer?” Reid took a long drink of his chocolate milkshake before responding.

 

“The longer we're together, the more afraid I am of losing you,” he said. Hotch reached over the table and clasped Reid's hand.

 

“Spencer, I'm not going anywhere. I will never leave you.”

 

“What if something happens to you?”

 

“That's part of the job. Every time Morgan kicks in a door and you follow us in, my stomach clenches. We can't live in that, though. Look at us right here, right now. This is what makes it all worth it. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. We don't even know what could happen on the way home, but I live with gratitude for being with you, not fear of losing you. Gratitude is stronger than fear.” Satisfied with that response, Reid changed directions.

 

“Do you want children?” Reid asked.

 

“I do. Do you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I've given it a lot of thought, actually,” Hotch said. “Maybe in a year or two I could take some extended time off then take a desk job or even teach part time to be at home for the kid.”

 

“You'd leave the BAU?”

 

“I've been here a long time. I'm proud of the work I've done. I'd be willing to leave the BAU to start a family.” Reid shifted nervously.

 

“What?” Hotch asked.

 

“I don't want to leave.”

 

“You wouldn't have to. If I was home on a regular basis, I don't see anything wrong with you staying at the BAU.”

 

“Do you think that would be fair to them?”

 

“Spencer, any child that we have is going to know that he has two fathers who love him unconditionally. As long as there is stability and routine at home, I don't see any reason why you couldn't stay with the team if that's what you want. You have to think, too, I'm 10 years older than you and I've been at this job longer than you. I'm OK with moving on.” Reid nodded. That reassured him and he relaxed.

 

“We could adopt,” Reid said. “God knows there are plenty of children out there in need of parents.”

 

“That was my thought process as well.”

 

“I would want a baby. I want to start at the very beginning of their life.”

 

“I'm open as far as age,” Hotch said. “I'd like to have a baby, but if we find an older child that we connect with, I'm OK with that, too.” Reid nodded again. Talking about their future grounded him. To know that Hotch had put so much thought into starting a family with him showed him how dedicated Hotch was to their relationship. Thinking about their future helped him see past the danger of their next case. It gave him something to aim for. Reid smiled at Hotch and imagined them bringing a baby home, loving it and raising it together.

 

“Maybe we could get a cat,” Reid said.

 

“I'm allergic to cats,” Hotch said. Reid made a face.

 

“I wish you would have told me that when I agreed to go out with you.” Hotch laughed.

 

“Would that have changed your mind?”

 

“It might have, but it's too late to turn back, now,” Reid joked.

 

“How about a dog?” Hotch asked.

 

“Dogs make good trial runs for raising children. The classic and operative conditioning, not to mention the patience and consistency necessary to train and raise a dog mirror that of the early years of a child's life.”

 

“So you're open to a dog?”

 

“As long as it's not too big.”

 

“I'm a fan of golden retrievers myself.”

 

“Golden retrievers make great family dogs. They're the fourth most intelligent dog behind the border collie, poodle, and German Shepards.”

 

“Poodles are smarter than golden retrievers?”

 

“And German Shepards.”

 

“I never would have guessed,” Hotch said. Reid smile cheekily.

 

“You don't have to guess. You have me.”

 

Ultimately, it was the conversation about having children that propelled Reid to the jewelry store the next day. He'd been thinking about it, and he'd been saving over the last couple months, but the thought of starting a family with Hotch is what pushed him to take the next step. He spent a few minutes looking at rings before his eyes landed on the perfect one. He jabbed his finger at it and the attendant brought it out for him to look at.

 

“It's perfect,” Reid said. It was a silver band with a single diamond inset in the center. It was small enough that that another ring could be worn with it. Reid paid the down payment and set up the rest of the payment plan and, instead of going home, drove to the BAU. When he walked into the bullpen, ring in hand, he saw Morgan sitting at his desk. Morgan looked up.

 

“What are you doing here?” Reid asked.

 

“Just trying to catch up,” Morgan said. “What are you doing here?” Reid blushed.

 

“Hiding something,” he said. Morgan raised an eyebrow in question. Unable to get out of the situation, Reid handed him the ring box and Morgan opened it.

 

“I'm going to ask Aaron to marry me,” Reid said. Morgan closed the box and handed it back with a grin on his face.

 

“I'm happy for you, kid.”

 

“When are you going to pop the question?”

 

“We'll have been together for six months next month. I'm going to do it then. You cannot say _anything_ to _anyone_ ,” he said to Morgan. Morgan put his hands up in surrender. 

 

“My lips are sealed,” he said with a wink. 

 

“Good. I have to get home before Aaron starts to wonder what happened to me.” Reid stashed the box in the back of his bottom draw behind a bunch of files and hurried home, a smile on his lips as he thought about his secret.

 

\------------

 

The next month was a busy one. They had two exhausting cases and were still dealing with the weight of Strauss's investigation. Eventually the powers that be sided with the team, and Strauss had to drop the issue. It had really put a strain on the team, though.

 

Hotch was getting impatient waiting for Reid's birthday and the proposal. He was usually a pretty patient person, but he kept replaying it over and over in his mind, obsessing, trying to plan everything just right. If nothing else, he was a perfectionist. In his eagerness, he decided to adjust his timeline. Next week would be their six month “anniversary,” and he could do it then. It was fast, but it was right. 

 

Most of the beginning of a normal relationship is spent getting to know the other person, feeling them out, learning if you fit with them. Reid and Hotch already had a strong foundation when they started the relationship. The closeness of the job and the additional intimacy of the team had taught them a lot about each other over the years. They already fit together on a certain level. Their time dating had mostly been about exploring chemistry and seeing how their lives would work as a couple. They needed to see if their futures could align as well as their present did. They found that they had similar passions for family and similar views on life. While their personal tastes and hobbies varied wildly, there was a safe and steady bond between them where they harmonized. Hotch and Reid were very happy and certain in the life they were building together. 

 

One night in bed, Hotch brought up their special day that was coming.

 

“So next Friday...” Hotch started. Reid put down his book.

 

“What about it?” Reid asked.

 

“It will be our six months. I thought we could do something special, assuming we don't have a case.” Reid knew very well what next Friday was. He had planning to surprise Hotch. His mind sped, trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

 

“There's a lecture on particle physics by Jim Gates,” Hotch said. “I was thinking maybe we could go and then do a picnic down by the lake.” Reid rolled over on his side and smiled at Hotch.

 

“You're sweet, but do you really want to sit and listen to a lecture on particle physics?” he asked.

 

“Well, I'm not interested in the lecture itself, but the look on your face when you explain it to me over dinner will be well worth it.” Reid chuckled. He had seen the lecture advertised and it had piqued his interest, but had definitely not been in his plans for the evening, nor had the picnic. He was thinking of taking Hotch to Marcel's, a five star French-Belgian restaurant. Hotch had found that he had quite a taste for Belgian food after Reid had introduced him to it. Marcel's was upscale, classy, and incredibly expensive. Leave it to Hotch to suggest a picnic, though. That was definitely more Reid's speed. Still, it could work. Reid would just have to adjust his presentation. A proposal was a proposal wherever you did it.

 

“That sounds good,” Reid said.

 

“Are you sure? You were quiet for a long time there.”

 

“Just trying to think of the best way to revive you if you die of boredom during that lecture.” Hotch laughed.

 

“I'm sure I'll survive.” He smiled. So far, so good.

 

The next week passed too slow for either Reid or Hotch's liking. Both had their mind set on Friday night. Hotch hid it well. Reid was getting pretty keyed up. He talked faster, spouted more facts, drank too much coffee, and didn't sleep well. He began to wonder if he should reconsider. What if he had gauged Hotch wrong? What if he said no? What if he didn't like the ring? What if it was too soon? Should Hotch be the one to ask? In the end he decided that this was what he wanted to do. Hotch had said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He said that he wanted to have a family together. Reid's mind was made up, but it didn't calm his nerves.

 

Reid was a bundle of energy during the lecture. He managed to calm down enough to enjoy himself. Jim Gates was talking about supersymetry and twenty minutes in, Reid was completely absorbed by the lecture and had all but forgotten his plan to propose to Hotch that night. Hotch barely understood a word the man was saying, but watching Reid was everything. Every so often, Reid would lean over to explain something, but for the most part he sat wide-eyed with a smile on his face as Jim Gates talked. Hotch was sure Reid was going to tell him all about it as soon as they walked out anyway, and he was right.

 

“That was amazing,” Reid said as they stepped outside. It looked to Hotch like Reid wanted to skip to the car, and he wasn't far off. Hotch shook his head.

 

“I'm going to need you to translate for me. Something about bosons and fermions and that's all I got.”

 

“Not something about them, Aaron. Everything about them,” Reid said as Hotch opened his car door. “You're incredibly itelligent. I think you just need context.” Reid went on to explain the different types of elementary particles, especially photons, and the integer value spin that makes a boson a boson and a fermion and fermion and how supersymetry fit in with the standard model of particle physics. Hotch listened with rapt attention as his boyfriend – hopefully soon to be his fiancé – spouted off about subatomic particles and the problems with the hierarchy of gauge theory. 

 

When they reached the lake, Hotch was happy to find that there was no one else there. It was getting late in the day and they had the place to themselves. He took the picnic basket and the blanket from the back seat and Reid surreptitiously slipped Hotch's ring from his messenger bag into his pocket. Hotch's heart raced as he thought about what was to come. He handed the blanket to Reid.

 

“You lay the blanket out and I'll do the food,” Hotch said. Reid spread the blanket out on and level patch of grass away from the trees so they would be in the warm sun. Hotch laid out the ham and cheese sandwiches and a buffet of fruits and vegetables and a plastic container of chocolate chip cookies, Reid's favorite. He brushed his fingers over the ring box in the bottom of the basket and smiled.

 

“What are you smiling at?” Reid asked.

 

“Just happy to be here with you,” Hotch said coyly. He produced a tall glass bottle and two champagne glasses.

 

“What is that?” Reid asked.

 

“Sparkling grape juice. We obviously can't have an open container at the lake, so this was the next best thing,” Hotch said.

 

“You really thought of everything.” _Just you wait_ , Hotch thought.

 

They sat and ate at chatted some more about the lecture with Hotch asking questions when he needed something clarified. He caught Reid's excitement about understanding the underpinnings of the universe as Reid expanded from particle physics to quantum physics. 

 

“So in string theory,” Reid was saying in between cookies, “Leonard Suskind proposes that individual particles are manifestations of a single basic object: electromagnetic strings that are so microscopic they cannot yet be detected by any current technology. This theory would unify electromagnetism and the strong and weak nuclear forces with gravity which has been a problem since Einstein's E=mc2, and is thus often referred to as the elusive Theory of Everything. The problem is that. so far, there is no way to produce an experiment to test the theory, so it's sometimes dismissed as not being 'real science,' but I'm confident we'll get there eventually.” Hotch pushed a strand of Reid's blond curls behind his ear and brushed his fingertips down the side of Reid's face. 

 

“I love the way your mind works.” Hotch said.

 

“I never thought I'd find someone who actually appreciates that part of me. I had just resigned myself to being tolerated.”

 

“I don't tolerate you. I love you.”

 

“I love you, too,” Reid said. Hotch took a deep breath and took Reid's hands in his.

 

“Spencer, when Haley left, my whole world fell apart. I truly believed the things she said to me, that I was damaged and unlovable. After all, she knew me better than anyone else did. I didn't think that anyone could truly appreciate me and accept me and love me wholly just the way I am, either. You proved all of that wrong. You've shown me what true love should be.” Reid started to tear up at Hotch's uncharacteristic openness. 

 

“You've made me feel safe and loved like I've never been before, and I can't imagine living my life with anyone else,” Hotch said. “You're gorgeous, you're smart, you're funny, you're strong, and I'm amazed by you.” He dropped Reid's hands, produced the ring box from the picnic basket, opened it, and got on one knee. Reid's face registered shock. Hotch pressed on.

 

“I meant it when I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have a family with you. I want to get old with you. I can see our future together and that doesn't scare me. It makes me happy and I want to spend every day making you as happy as I am right now. I love you with everything in me. Will you be my husband?” Reid was stunned. He stared at Hotch for a moment speechless and then threw his head back and laughed. Hotch recoiled. Of all the scenarios he had run through his mind, being laughed at was not one of them. Reid saw the panic on Hotch's face and shook his head.

 

“Aaron – ” he said still laughing. Reid slipped the ring out of his pocket and held it up to Hotch. Hotch's jaw dropped and he sat down on the ground. It was the same. Damn. Ring.

 

“Where you going to...” Hotch trailed off.

 

“I was going to ask you to marry me,” Reid said. “I was just waiting for the right opening and then you stole my thunder.” Hotch broke into a grin. 

 

“So just to clarify, that's a yes?” Hotch asked. Reid threw his arms around Hotch's neck causing Hotch to fall back and catch himself with his hand before they both ended up on the ground.

 

“Yes it's a yes,” Reid said. He pulled back and put the ring on Hotch's finger. Hotch took Reid's ring and put it on Reid's ring finger, then pull Reid into his arms with his back against Hotch's chest and wrapped his arms around his lover. Hotch held his left hand up and looked at his engagement ring over Reid's shoulder.

 

“I can't believe we got each other the same ring,” Hotch said. 

 

“I can,” Reid said. “I just can't believe you beat me to it.” Hotch smiled. 

 

“I was originally planning to do it on your birthday, but I couldn't wait that long. I think I like it this way better anyway.”

 

“It's pretty perfect,” Reid agreed.

 

Their lovemaking that night was soft, but urgent, each man pouring all his love into the other. When they were finished, Reid quickly fell asleep, still smiling, nestled against Hotch's chest. Hotch watched him sleep and thought that nothing could possibly go wrong before he himself drifted off. He was wrong. He had know way of knowing what fate waited them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	11. K is for Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hell breaks loose. That's all you get.

They had the unsub cornered in his house. It was just a matter of getting to him. It was dark in the middle of the night. The unsub had cut the electricity. They knew he probably had night vision googles. 

“Morgan, Prentiss, go around back,” Hotch said. “Reid, Rossi, take the upstairs. JJ, you're with me.” Morgan and Prentiss started around the perimeter of the house. Hotch busted the front door in and the other four went inside. With flashlights and guns ready, Reid and Rossi went upstairs while Hotch and JJ went straight. Hotch and JJ split up to cover the rooms on the first floor. Hotch went through the living room and JJ went down the hallway. Hotch turned sharply into kitchen and shined his flashlight right into the face of the unsub. Hotch let out a yell as the unsub stabbed him in the side where his kevlar vest didn't cover. The butcher knife slid all the way in to the hilt. Hotch fell to the ground, bleeding profusely. The unsub knelt down and put his knife to Hotch's throat. JJ was there in a flash and put a bullet through his head.

“Aaron!” Reid yelled and he and Morgan took off down the stairs.

“Agent down! We need a medic!” they heard JJ yell. She was on the floor next to Hotch with both hands over the long gash in his side. Reid dropped down next to her and tore off his kevlar vest and sweater vest and pushed the sweater vest over Hotch's wound. Morgan and Prentiss burst inside from the back door. Blood soaked Reid's hands. There was so much blood. It was pooling on the floor. Hotch grabbed Reid's arm.

“Spencer...” he whispered, his voice harsh and strained.

“Don't talk,” Reid said, terror lacing his voice. “I've got you. You're going to be OK. I promise.” Aaron's eyes fluttered shut and his hand fell to the floor and still the blood came. 

“Aaron!” Reid yelled. The medics rushed into the house with a gurney and the team moved aside to let them through, but Reid did not move. Morgan pulled urgently on Reid's arm as the medics moved in. Reid jerked away.

“Reid! You gotta move! You gotta let them do their job!” Morgan grabbed him under the arms and forcefully pulled him away from Hotch's side. Reid fought to get away.

“Let me go! Let me go!” he screamed, but Morgan held him tight and moved him out of the way. The medics lifted Hotch onto the gurney and rushed him to the ambulance. Morgan let Reid go and he dropped to his knees, sobbing.

“JJ, take him to the hospital,” Morgan said. “We'll finish up here.”

“Reid,” JJ said, her voice tight. She was fighting back tears. “Let's go.” 

“Take care of him,” Morgan whispered as JJ walked past him. JJ nodded. She helped Reid to his feet and he stumbled out to the SUV. JJ hit the sirens and they sped off to the hospital.

JJ and Reid got there a couple minutes behind the ambulance and the woman at the front desk told them that Hotch had been rushed into surgery. Reid slumped onto one of the waiting room chairs. His face was a mask of horror and disbelief. Shock was setting in. JJ sat beside him and put her arm around his shoulders, pulling him against her. Reid let himself be held. He didn't have the energy to pull away. Within a half hour the rest of the team was at the emergency room. Reid had barely moved and hadn't said a word.

“Have you heard anything?” Prentiss asked.

“Nothing,” JJ said. “He's in surgery now.” Prentiss sat down next to JJ and pulled her into her arms. JJ began to cry.

“Reid,” Morgan said gently. “Do you need anything?” Reid said nothing. He didn't even look up from where his eyes were locked on the floor.

“Let him go,” Rossi said. They sat down to wait.

They waited in the ER for 3 hours. Reid hadn't said a word, but had finally accepted a cup of coffee from the vending machine that Morgan brought to him. Inside he prayed, something he'd never done before. He prayed and pleaded to whatever might be listening that the love of his life wouldn't die. Finally, one of the surgeons came out. 

“Aaron Hotchner,” he said as he stepped into the waiting room. The team stood and he approached them.

“The surgery was complicated. We lost him once on the table but where able to bring him back. The knife hit his kidney, liver, and stomach. We managed to repair most of the damage, but it's going to be a while before we know if he'll pull through. He's in critical condition, now. These next 24 hours are crucial. If wakes up, he should be OK.” 

“Can I see him?” Reid asked. 

“Are you family?” the surgeon asked. 

“I'm his fiancé.” The surgeon eyed him for a moment and then nodded.

“You guys go back to the hotel,” Reid said. “I'll call if anything changes.” 

The surgeon led Reid back to Hotch's room. He was impossibly pale and still. Reid pulled the chair over next to Hotch's bed and took his hand. That was when he realized he still had Hotch's blood on his hands. He'd managed to wipe most of it off on his pants, but it still streaked his skin and caked around his nails. Fear overwhelmed Reid and he broke down in sobs. 

“Don't leave me,” Reid begged in a whisper through his tears. “Please, Aaron. Don't leave me.”

Reid stayed by Hotch's side all night and didn't sleep. He only moved to use the restroom and wash the rest of the blood off his hands. He'd gone numb. His overactive brain was blank. He just sat and watched and waited and held Hotch's hand, willing him to open his eyes.

Hotch finally woke up at 10:51 the next morning. Exhaustion had finally taken Reid over and he fell asleep in the chair with his head on the side of Hotch's bed, still holding his hand.

“Spencer,” Hotch said softly. Reid jerked awake.

“Aaron! Oh God! Oh thank God!” Tears of joy flowed down Reid's face and he punched the nurse call button. Aaron smiled a small smile.

“You didn't think you were going to get rid of me that easy did you?” Reid jumped up and kissed Hotch ever so delicately on the mouth.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” Reid said.

“It's going to take more than a deranged psychopath to keep me away from you. Did you get him?”

“JJ did.” A nurse came into the room.

“Welcome back Agent Hotchner,” she said. Reid moved out of her way as she flitted around the bed checking the monitors and Hotch's vital signs.

“Lookin' good. How's your pain?”

“Feels like someone stuck a knife in me,” Hotch said. 

“Well, at least your sense of humor is intact,” she said. Reid snorted. Aaron Hotchner's famed sense of humor. 

“Give it to me on a scale of 1 to 10.”

“Seven,” Hotch said.

“Do you want me to up your morphine?”

“No, no. I'm hazy enough as it is. I'll deal with it.”

“OK. Let me know if you change your mind. I'll send the doctor in to see you in a minute.” Hotch nodded. 

“How long was I out?” Hotch asked Reid.

“12 hours and 57 minutes after I got been here.”

“And you've been here the whole time.”

“Of course I have. Why would I be anywhere else?” Hotch smiled and reached up to touch Reid's cheek.

“I love you,” Hotch said.

“I love you too,” Reid said. “Aaron...”

“Yes?”

“I was thinking...I don't want to wait to marry you. We never know what can happen to us from day to day. I want to get married when you get out. If you're OK with that, that is.”

“I'm OK with that,” Hotch said. “I wasn't wanting anything real big anyway.” Reid smiled.

“I'm going to go call JJ and tell her you're awake.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	12. L is for Love Unconditionally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch falls apart in the aftermath of trauma and Reid is there to show him how much he loves him and to help put the pieces back together.

The night terrors started the first night in the hospital after Hotch woke up from his surgery. He woke up screaming. Hotch couldn't remember what he dreamed, only the shear terror coursing through his veins. Reid jumped up from the couch where he had been sleeping and rushed to Aaron's side. In his panic, Hotch pushed him away and Reid fell into the wall. A nurse came running into the room as Reid stood up.

 

“What happened?” she asked.

 

“Nightmare, I think,” Reid said. “Let me handle it.” Hotch was doubled over with his hands wrapped around his midsection, sobbing on the verge of hyperventilation. Reid took a quick assessment of the situation and walked over slowly this time, talking to him so that Hotch knew he was approaching. It broke his heart to see his lover like this, but his face and voice were calm.

 

“Aaron, it's Spencer. I'm here. You're OK.” Reid put his hand on Aaron's back and rubbed circles on it. He was slick with sweat. Reid sat down on the side of Hotch's bed and this time Hotch allowed himself to be pulled into Reid's arms. Hotch clutched Reid so hard that it hurt, but Reid did not flinch away from him. The nurse stood by watching the scene with her arms folded over her chest, waiting in case she needed to intervene.

 

“Deep breaths, Aaron,” Reid said. “You're in the hospital. You're safe. Nothing's going to happen to you. I've got you.” Hotch's breath shuddered under the weight of his tears, but slowly, he pulled himself together. When the crying had stopped for a couple minutes, Reid spoke again.

 

“Did you have a nightmare?” he asked. Hotch nodded wordlessly and softened his grip on Reid.

 

“You're safe now, Aaron. I've got you.”

 

“Thank you,” Hotch said, his voice barely above a whisper. Reid looked up at the nurse.

 

“We're fine now,” he said. The nurse looked reluctant to leave, but she nodded.

 

“Just hit the call button if you need anything, honey,” she said.

 

“I will,” Reid promised. When she left, Hotch sat up and wiped his face. He was utterly humiliated.

 

“I'm so sorry,” he said to Reid.

 

“You don't have to apologize to me,” Reid said.

 

“I don't know what happened. I don't even remember what I dreamed about.”

 

“It sounds like a night terror. You've just been through an incredibly traumatic experience. It stands to reason that you're experiencing this.” Hotch shook his head.

 

“I'm stronger than this,” he said.

 

“Aaron, this has nothing to do with strength. It's a psychological response to trauma. It doesn't speak to your character. I know you're strong and we can get through this together.”

 

“I think I'm going to try to sleep again,” Hotch said.

 

“OK. I'm going to be right over on the couch. I love you, Aaron.”

 

“I love you, too, Spencer. Thank you.”

 

“Of course.” Reid went back over to the couch and let Hotch get settled back into his bed. He watched Hotch until his breath slowed and deepened in sleep before he drifted of himself.

 

Hotch was in the hospital for a week and a half and he had a night terror every night. They prescribed Minipress to help with the night terrors to no avail. The hospital psychiatrist visited him and diagnosed him with Acute Stress Disorder and gave him a referral to a trauma specialist to follow up with when he was released. By the time he was released 10 days later, Hotch was exhausted and terrified to go to bed at night. Hotch was withdrawn, barely speaking, and when he did, it was often to snap at Reid. Sometimes Hotch's words hurt, but Reid took it in stride as best as he could.

 

It didn't get any better when they got home. Hotch was still having night terrors and had taken to drinking at nights despite Reid's repeated pleading and explanations that it would only make the night terrors worse. Hotch was aware of the damage that he was doing to Reid. He knew he was acting irrationally. He knew that he was out of control and there was nothing he could do about it. He was stuck on autopilot in hell. Still, Reid stood by him. He cooked and cleaned and took care of Hotch. He woke up every night with him and sat with him and held him until he could go back to sleep. He was intimately familiar with the workings of PTSD from his own life and Acute Stress Disorder was basically the psychiatric precursor to PTSD. Hotch was unraveling fast.

 

One night after Hotch had had one too many beers, he got a phone call. Though the number wasn't in his phone, he recognized it. He pushed the button to answer the call.

 

“Hello?” Hotch said with a cold voice. Reid's ears perked up and he listened.

 

“I heard what happened,” Haley said. “Are you alright?”

 

“Why do you care?” Hotch sneered.

 

“Come on Aaron, don't be like that. We spent the best years of our life together. Of course I care about you.”

 

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

 

“Are you drunk?” Haley asked.

 

“Again, why do you care?” Hotch asked. Haley sighed.

 

“I shouldn't have called,” she said. Hotch started pacing through the living room.

 

“No, you shouldn't have. You made your choice a year and a half ago. I can't keep playing this limbo bullshit with you. You call, you pretend to care, then you tear me apart.”

 

“That's not fair, Aaron. I do care. I didn't want to cheat on you. You drove me to it.”

 

“Haley, I cannot have this conversation with you.”

 

“That's so like you. Whenever someone confronts you with the truth, you shut down. Don't let anyone in. That's Aaron Hotchner's motto. Do you do the same thing to Spencer? Do you shut him out? Does he have to suffer like I did?”

 

“I almost died, Haley! What do you want from me?” Hotch asked, enraged.

 

“I want you to stop acting like a child, for one.” Hotch gritted his teeth.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“This emotional outburst is completely unnecessarily. I was just calling to see how you're doing and suddenly I'm the bad guy. Poor Spencer. It's a shame he has to deal with this. You'd better get yourself together before he leaves, too.” Hotch threw his phone across the room. It hit a wall, shattered and fell to the floor. Hotch turned to the wall closest to him and kicked it hard, leaving a hole in it. He leaned against the wall and started to cry.

 

“Aaron...” Spencer said tentatively. Hotch didn't respond. Reid got up from the couch and went over to where Hotch was standing.

 

“Aaron, why don't you come sit down.” Hotch allowed himself to be led over to the couch. They sat down on the couch and Reid pulled Hotch into his arms.

 

“You don't deserve this,” Hotch said, his voice hard. “I don't know why you're still here. Honestly...I think you should leave.” Hotch pulled himself away from Reid. Reid closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. He knew this was Haley talking, not Hotch. This happened every time they spoke. Hotch got it in his head that he didn't deserve Reid and tried to push him away. Well Reid wasn't going to let that happen.

 

“Really, Spencer,” Hotch said. “You should go. Find someone else who can treat you the way you deserve.”

 

“Aaron Hotchner,” Reid said firmly. “Look at me right now.” When their eyes met, Reid could see the devastation in Hotch and his chest clenched. He cursed Haley inwardly. Leave it to her to take a bad situation and make it worse.

 

“I will not leave,” Reid said. “There is nothing you can do to make me leave. When I told you I would marry you, that was it. That was my total commitment to you for the rest of our lives.” Hotch started to protest.

 

“Spencer – ”

 

“No, Aaron. You cannot make me leave. It's not going to happen. I know what you're going through. I've been there. After Tobias Hankle, my whole world fell apart and I spiraled out of control. You have to stop trying to go through it alone. I'm here for you 100 %. Through thick and thin, for better or worse. When I said I'd marry you, that's what I meant. If you want to get through this, you have to let me in.”

 

“You don't deserve this,” Hotch said.

 

“That's not for you to decide.” Hotch took a deep breath and looked at the man he loved so much.

 

“I just don't want you to get hurt,” Hotch said.

 

“That's not how life works.”

 

“I know, but I don't want to be the one who hurts you.”

 

“You are not what's hurting me right now. This isn't you. This is all what was done to you. There is a difference.” Tears slipped down Hotch's face.

 

“I can't live like this, Spencer. I'm terrified all the time. I just want it to stop. Oh God. Make it stop.”

 

“Come here,” Reid said. He pulled Hotch so his back was leaning against Reid's chest and wrapped his arms around him.

 

“It's not forever. Look how far I've come since we've been together. There is hope. It will end. We can do this together. I'm just asking you to let me do for you what you've been doing for me.” Hotch was quiet.

 

“I love you,” Reid said. “There's nothing you can do to make me stop loving you.”

 

“I love you, too,” Hotch said. “Thank you. For everything.” Reid kissed the top of Hotch's head.

 

“Of course,” he said.

 

That was the first night after the stabbing that Hotch didn't have a night terror. He slept soundly, held in his lover's arms. The next day he made an appointment with the trauma specialist that had been recommended to him in the hospital and Reid dumped all the alcohol that was left in the house.

 

Progress was slow, but with Reid by his side, Hotch had the strength to confront his fears and trauma. Hotch started EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitizing and Repossessing, which is used to combat traumatic memories and the symptoms started to ease. He didn't have a drop to drink after the night on the phone with Haley and began to make the effort to reach out to Reid for help and comfort and to share honestly what he was feeling.

 

Hotch was on indefinite leave from the BAU and Strauss had, surprisingly, told Reid to take off all the time he needed to help Hotch through the ordeal. The team checked on them regularly, especially JJ, and after Hotch started to stabilize, would stop by to see how they were doing. JJ always brought food with her, a casserole or other meal, to help take some of the pressure off of Reid. Garcia was often accompanied by sweets like cake or cookies.

 

Slowly, things started to return to normal and they began to plan their wedding.

 

 

AN: This chapter was inspired by the song Demons by Imagine Dragons. I was stuck for a couple days and when this song came on, I was like AHA!

 

When the days are cold  
And the cards all fold  
And the saints we see  
Are all made of gold

 

When your dreams all fail  
And the ones we hail  
Are the worst of all  
And the blood’s run stale

 

I want to hide the truth  
I want to shelter you  
But with the beast inside  
There’s nowhere we can hide

 

No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come

 

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

  
Don’t get too close  
It’s dark inside  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

 

When the curtain’s call  
Is the last of all  
When the lights fade out  
All the sinners crawl

 

So they dug your grave  
And the masquerade  
Will come calling out  
At the mess you made

 

Don’t want to let you down  
But I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you  
Don’t want to hide the truth

 

No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come

 

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

  
Don’t get too close  
It’s dark inside  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

 

They say it's what you make  
I say it's up to fate  
It's woven in my soul  
I need to let you go

 

Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I want to save their light  
I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how

 

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

  
Don’t get too close  
It’s dark inside  
It’s where my demons hide  
It’s where my demons hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


	13. M is for Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid and Hotch start planning their wedding and the team gets a case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was away for a little while. #life #adulting Plus a major case of writer's block. I did write this lovely kinky little PWP oneshot with Hotch and Reid, though, while I was gone. Check it out and let me know what you think.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14192364
> 
> PS The lyrics of both songs discussed at at the bottom of the chapter.

Hotch was overwhelmed and cranky. Reid was sitting on the floor by the coffee table with his legs crossed. He was talking fast with wide, bright eyes, but Hotch had lost track of what the hell he was talking about. Hotch let out a deep breath and rubbed his temples. He was getting a headache.

 

“Aaron? Did you hear what I said?”

 

“No, Spencer,” Hotch replied and leaned back against the couch.

 

“I was asking whether you have a preference about doing the ceremony indoors or outdoors.” Reid paused. “Are you OK?” Hotch looked down at the list and notes he had scribbled and up at the screen on his laptop which displayed a variety of cakes.

 

“I really don't know what I'm doing, Spence. I'm way out of my depth, here. I don't know if we should have buttercream or whipped cream icing or have a DJ or live music or whether we should dress formal or semi-formal or how many people we should invite. I just want to marry you. I don't really care how we do it.” Reid reached over and rubbed Hotch's knee.

 

“Give me your list,” Reid said. Hotch handed the legal pad over. Reid looked over the sheet and then tore it off and grabbed the pencil from the coffee table.

 

“I'll make it as simple as possible,” Reid said. He voice was patient, but not at all condescending. He jotted down a list of topics, leaving spaces between them for notes.

 

“We can actually get through the big decisions pretty quickly if I streamline the questions. We've got the date, but that may depend on if we can book a location on such short notice. So, first question, inside or outside? I like outside. The weather should be fine in mid-July.”

 

“I'm fine with that.”

 

“Do you trust me to find a location and book it?” Reid asked. “I want something by water.”

 

“I'm fine with whatever you come up with,” Aaron said. Reid scribbled under the heading “location.”

 

“I'm against tuxes in general, but in the heat it would be worse,” Reid said. Aaron agreed.

 

“I'd like to go a little more casual than traditional. I was thinking you in a nice suit and me in a button down and a vest.”

 

“That's fine.”

 

“I'll pick the colors?”

 

“You know what looks best.” Reid jotted down some ideas.

 

“OK, now – ” Hotch cut Reid off.

 

“Spencer, love of my life, can we _please_ take a break?” Reid made a face.

 

“I suppose,” he said grudgingly. Reid set the legal pad down and snuggled up to Hotch on the couch.

 

“I'm sorry,” Reid said. “I'm just so excited.” Hotch brought his arm around his fiance's shoulders and slipped his hand through Reid's curls.

 

“I know you are. I don't mean to rain on your parade. My brain's just shot. There's so much to do.”

 

“Imagine what JJ and Emily are going through. They actually care about colors and cakes and stuff.” Hotch scoffed.

 

“Women,” he huffed.

 

“Right,” Reid said and laid his head back on Hotch's shoulder. “Don't worry. I'll take care of finding everything and booking and ordering and organizing. I just need your input on some of the big things.”

 

“Can't we just go in front of a Justice of the Peace and then run off somewhere secluded for a week?”

 

“Absolutely not to the first part and yes to the second,” Reid said. Hotch was quiet for a moment with a thoughtful look on his face.

 

“There is one thing that's really important to me,” he said.

 

“Apart from the rings? We already picked those out,” Reid asked.

 

“Apart from the rings. Do you have any ideas about our first dance?”

 

“That's one part where I'm at a loss.”

 

“Well do you want a contemporary song or something more classic?” Reid shook his head.

 

“I've had a bunch of ideas from Broadway to instrumental to contemporary. Nothing seems to stick,” he said. Hotch thought for a moment.

 

“I've been thinking about it. I have a couple ideas,” he said.

 

“OK. Like what?”

 

“I'd like to do something a little more contemporary. I've narrowed it down to 'Who Are You Waiting' For by Melissa Etheridge and 'I'll Be' by Edwin McCain. I think 'I'll Be' would be easier to dance to, but either would work.”

 

“I don't know either of those. Will you play them for me?” Reid asked. Hotch connected the bluetooth on his phone to the sound bar for the TV and played each song on Spotify.

 

“I like both of those,” Reid said once both songs had been played.

 

“Do you have a preference?” Hotch asked. Reid thought for a moment.

 

“I like 'I'll Be' the best,” he said.

 

“I think that's more suited for the dance I had in mind.” Reid looked at Hotch skeptically.

 

“And exactly what did you have in mind?” Hotch smiled slyly.

 

“Oh, just a standard waltz.” Reid sat up and looked at Hotch incredulously.

 

“I can't waltz! I could give you a full history lesson on the traditions and origins of ballroom dance, but that's it.”

 

“I've got you covered. The waltz happens to be my forte, though I can do a pretty good tango, too.” Reid's eyebrows shot up.

 

“You took ballroom dance?”

 

“I competed in college, actually.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“I started taking lessons to impress Haley. She wasn't impressed, but I got a taste for it and ran with it.”

 

“Aaron, I'm serious. I can't dance.”

 

“I can teach you. You have an eidetic memory and a natural grace. I think you'd be great.”

 

“I trip over my own feet,” Reid pointed out.

 

“You get caught up in your mind and don't pay attention to where you're going, but I've watched you move. You _do_ have a natural grace. You just have to put your mind on hold. It's not thinking, left foot, right foot, left foot, change step, turn. You don't move your body, your body moves you. You commit those things to memory and then just let go. You empty your mind, feel the music, and let it flow. That's what I love about it. While the music is playing, I get to stop thinking for a few minutes and just _be_.” Reid just blinked at him.

 

“If you say so,” Reid said hesitantly. “You really think you can teach me a waltz in a month and a half?”

 

“I know I can. Trust me. Come on. We can start right now.” Reid was a little unnerved by how excited Hotch was and less than confident in his own ability to learn this dance, but Hotch paid Reid's doubts no mind. He stood and pulled Reid up, then pushed the coffee table back against the couch to make more room.

 

“OK, watch my feet. This is the basic waltz box step. You're making a square with your feet. I'll start with my right foot. I step forward, slide my left foot up and left to make the side and top of the box and then close. Then I step back with my left foot and slide my right foot down and to the right to make the other side of the box and the bottom and then close. You do that backwards.”

 

“Backwards?” Reid cut in. Hotch smirked.

 

“Unless _you_ would like to lead.” Reid shook his head.

 

“Absolutely not,” he said. Hotch reached out his hand and Reid took it.

 

“This is the stance. I hold my left hand at eye level and you take it with your right hand. I put my right hand on your waist and you put your left hand on my shoulder.” Hotch and Reid moved into position.

 

“It's important to keep your arms at 90 degree angles to your body at all times. Now, watch my feet. I'll step and you follow me. Left foot back.” Reid stepped back with his left foot and Hotch stepped forward with his right.

 

“Good,” Hotch said. “Now bring your left foot back and parallel to your right foot, then slide it to the left without stopping. Watch me.” Hotch made the mirror movement first and Reid followed suit.

 

“Now bring your right foot together with the left to close. You see how that makes an L shape like the side and top of the box?”

 

“I see,” Reid said.

 

“OK now we're going to do that again but opposite. Step forward with your left, bring your right foot to your left and slide. Bring your left foot to your right.” Reid followed in time with Hotch's words and managed not to step on his toes, but did stumble a bit on the forward slide.

 

“See,” Hotch said. “You've got it. Let's put it all together.” Hotch counted off the steps as they moved in a box shape in the center of the living room.

 

“1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3,” Hotch counted. “You've got it. You're doing great.” After they had completed a few boxes, Hotch put his hands around Reid's waist and pulled him closed, then kissed him long and sweet.

 

“If this is my reward for learning a new step, I definitely think I can learn this in time,” Reid said. Hotch smiled and kissed Reid on the forehead.

 

“Well there's a lot more where that came from,” Hotch said. “Do you want to try another step?”

 

“What the hell,” Reid replied. “Why not?” Hotch walked Reid through the natural and reverse rotations and the change step. Reid loosened up a little as he started to pick up on the movements and eventually a smile came on his face. They put all the steps together and were gliding around the living room. When Hotch put his left arm up and twirled Reid in a circle, Reid threw his head back and laughed. He was starting to see why Hotch loved to dance. His mind quieted and when Hotch put their song on, he allowed the music and Hotch's quiet counting guide him through the steps and music. They danced for an hour before Reid pushed Hotch away giggling and declared that he was done for the day.

 

“I need a break,” Reid said. “This is hard work.”

 

“It's good exercise,” Hotch said.

 

“Well I think I've had plenty of exercise for the day. I need food.” Hotch pulled Reid close and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

 

“I think I can manage that. I have a new recipe for ham and endive gratin that I've been wanting to try.”

 

“That sounds wonderful. Do you have everything to make it?”

 

“I got the supplies from the store while you were at the library the other day. I just haven't had a chance to make it, yet.”

 

“He cooks, he cleans, he dances. You're just the total package. What else can you do?” Hotch smiled wickedly and leaned in to whisper in Reid's ear.

 

“I can fuck you so good that I have you yelling my name and begging for more.” Reid eyes popped open and his breath quickened. Hotch pulled back to see the look and his lover's face and smiled smugly.

 

“How's that for dirty talk?” Hotch asked. Reid swallowed hard.

 

“You're definitely making progress,” Reid said. “Keep that up and we'll be skipping dinner and going straight for desert.”

 

“I'm hungry,” Hotch said. “If you're lucky, you'll get desert this evening.” Hotch turned toward the kitchen and Reid huffed after him.

 

“If I'm lucky. Hmph. Like you could deny me,” Reid said.

 

“Well, you've got me there,” Hotch said as he pulled out a pan. “I can't deny you anything.” Reid helped Hotch prepare the meal. He followed instructions when given and otherwise tried to stay out of Hotch's way. When they were done, Reid set the table and Hotch brought out two plates of steaming ham with cheese and endives. They had barely started eating when Hotch's cell phone went off. He groaned. That was his work ringtone. He pushed back from the tabled and walked into the living room to retrieve his cellphone.

 

“Aaron Hotchner,” he said when he answered. “Yes. Yes. OK. Yes, he's here. I'll tell him. OK. We'll be there in a half hour.” Hotch hung up and walked back to the table.

 

“We've got a case?” Reid asked, though the answer was obvious.

 

“A series of fatal fires in Kaysville, Utah,” Hotch replied.

 

“That's the suburbs of Salt Lake,” Reid said. “What makes them think it's serial?”

 

“We'll find out when we get there,” Hotch said.

 

“Is your go bag packed?” Reid asked.

 

“Yeah, it's in the bedroom closet with yours.”

 

“I'll load the bags and clean up real quick. You eat. I can eat in the car.”

 

“You'd better not get cheese on my seats,” Hotch warned facetiously.

 

“Shut up and eat.” 15 minutes later, they were on the road to the office to greet whatever fresh hell awaited them.

 

 

 

 

Who Are You Waiting For -- Melissa Etheridge

 

I did not fall when you found me I was face down  
My confidence small pushed off the merry go round  
Wishes and horses and all the kings’ men  
Could not put my heart back together again  
I’m through with love isn’t it clear my friend

You said who are you waiting for  
You said who are you waiting for

Broken again shards of the years that I lost stuck in my skin  
And the scars the least of the cost  
It’s obvious now that I’m damaged goods  
Can’t seem to find love don’t know if I could

You said you are not wrong just misunderstood

You said who are you waiting for  
Hmmmm  
Who are you waiting for

Now touch me my dear feel the surprise  
Give me your hand open your eyes  
Waiting for, who are you waiting for

I stand in the aisle I think that I’ve always known  
There in your smile I don’t have to go this alone  
Here I am come to me now  
Let's tell all the world I’ve found you  
And how I’ve been waiting for...... yes

Who are you waiting for, who are you waiting for  
Who are you waiting for

Wherever you go I will go to  
Wherever you stay I’ll stay with you  
To honour and cherish from this day on  
My partner in life, my lover my one I’ve been waiting for  
I’ve been, I’ve been waiting for you

I'll Be -- Edwin McCain

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful  
Stop me and steal my breath  
Emeralds from mountains and thrust towards the sky  
Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together  
Dress it up with the trappings of love  
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof  
As we lie awake in my bed  
You're my survival, you're my living proof  
My love is alive and not dead

Tell me that we belong together  
Dress it up with the trappings of love  
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead  
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the thing you said

I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life  
The greatest fan of your life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me if you like it or if you have any requests for the story line. I'm doing a chapter for each letter of the alphabet, so there's a lot of space to fill.


End file.
